My son is gay and my wife wants to kick him out of the house?

Question

My son is gay and my wife wants to kick him out of the house?

Answer 1

You sound like a good dad... Definitely stay strong and don't let your wife force your son to leave. I think that what you are doing is the right decision.

If she can't accept her own child for what he is, I think that that really shows something about her character. I would support your child.

Answer 2

You are a great father if you put your son above your marriage. He needs somebody (you) more than ever. If he is forced out of the house, chances are he will start on a horrible spiral to rock bottom and may never fully recover and live a good life. Do not let your wife dictate this, no matter what she says, him being kicked out will do him zero good.

Answer 3

You should be proud of yourself. What you are doing is loving, courageous, and overall very commendable. Stay strong! I am praying for you.

Answer 4

Do you *really* wanna live with the sort of petty, hateful bigot that would kick her own son out of her house over something as benign as his sexual orientation?



I mean, that's like a parent disowning their child 'cause their kid likes jazz instead of classic rock. Now, I like classic rock, and I have to admit that I don't much care for jazz at all, but doing something like *that* to your own child is really a dick move.



I think the choice is pretty simple: kick your *wife* out of the house.

Answer 5

kick her out instead(:

Answer 6

You're a good parent, your wife should learn from you.



Honestly, it's a bit hard coming up with advices seeing how I'm not a parent, but I'll try to give you what I have. First, she needs to calm down about this. Tell her that no matter what happens you son will always be who he is (that means telling her you son was born gay and always has been). Nothing about him is going to change. Second, let her know that the bishop WILL NOT change you son. Ex-gay ministries are highly unsuccessful in converting LGBT's, and will stay that way. Third, convince her to reconsider her thoughts. Everyone has their personal beliefs, and you wife might be persistant in keeping her's. Let her know why you still love your son and why she should as well. If she doesn't change her thoughts, she may just go through with this and your son will be gone.



These advices might not be very helpful, but I'm trying my very best to come up with advices from my limited knowledge and experience. Please try to keep your family whole.

Answer 7

let your wife cool down but most importantly dont let her kick ur son out of the house. i understand that ur wife is very disappointed but as a mother i know she will not neglect your son because of this. just give her time to think of what she said.



being gay or homosexual doesnt mean that he is bad as a person. coming from a child prospective sometimes parents tend to look at things differently bcoz of age gap thats where the conflict starts. thats why alot of children gets lost bcoz they lack guidance from their parents and worst comes to worst parents blame friends bcoz they think that the friends are the bad influence on their child not thinking that the problem roots to them.



so please please please ask your wife to think about this for like a million time. ur kid is 17 and i know in that age he is so vulnerable dont let him seek help from outside your house or things might get alot worst.

Answer 8

This is so sad :(



I think you need to leave your wife.

Answer 9

DAMN this is crazy i Thought it was usually the mom that was super supportive, of a kid being a gay, and the dad who just couldn't take it... cheers dude, maybe you three should go to counselling

Answer 10

Did Jesus ever say convert or get out of my house?

Answer 11

Well atleast of the two of the parents you do your duty. You do care about your son as a person as he is. Your wife though well though she probably loves him has been misguided by religion to think that homosexuality is a disease.. something it isn't.



Some way religiosity is a disease...



Reality is that your son is 17 year old and for his own protection against a certain gone crazy person best is to ensure that certain gone crazy person can't force your son to go to "ex gay training"



This might cause a rift between you and here and that is the sad fact of what religion can do. Best is to protect your son.. sorry yo are forced this way but .. this is what religion does. Your wife needs time to get to grips with the situation.



Maybe it isn't all broken maybe you can show her that gay people in this age can have wonderfull relationships that last long. That they can adopt children so the grand children are no problem either. And that really she should look at the person.. not the sexuality.



So I actually feel she is panicked right now.. a tower of "truth" has fallen apart so to say. Religion must be for her a very strong supportive beam. And that her religion says her son is well.. nasty..bad.. it must hurt her allot.



Maybe I know.. it probably ends in a fight you can look into this issue. And see if you can't pry the religion away from the issue. You know like reminding her it is her son and that Jesus loved everyone. And the best way to do things.. is to love..



Many Christians are judgemental.. they are definitely not like Christ.



Good wishes in a troubled time. May these possible methods aid you. If all goes well this situation doesn't destroys the family. She might just need time to adjust! I am very happy you are so supportive of your son.

Answer 12

Wow. Father of the year. When someones hatred of homosexuality becomes stronger than their love for their own child, they should seek help. In fact, it might help if you were all to see a family therapist. Your wife might respond better to hearing from a professional that there is nothing wrong with nor is there anything to be done about your son's sexuality. But make sure whoever you choose is an actual professional, and not some anti-gay nut with an agenda and a history which involved being expelled from the APA (or worse, has no credentials to speak of at all). Other than that, I think your attention is better focused on your son for the time being. With the recent spate of gay teen suicides only adding to a statistic that's always been alarmingly high, I don't think I can stress enough how important it is to let your son know you are there for him and will support him.

Answer 13

Regally on the evening TV news I see stories covering men who have committed some truly terrible crimes. Robbery with a weapon like a gun, rape, gang rape or maybe murder, often the victims are the very old and frail or are young even now and then babies.



Can you recall any in your are of late?



When the accused appears in court you will see in the background, his family and friends who are at the court to offer moral support to a guy who they often claim has just lost his way. He is not a bad person. They will say.



Ask your wife, if this was a member of her family, say a brother or her father, would she stand by him or turn her back on him when he is most in need.



Now remind her.



Your son has caused no one trouble. Anyone in his bed, are intelligent informed people who have agreed to be there. At do time have they said no.



Where as, how many victims of robbery, rape or murder agree to be involved, even a baby struggles when attacked.



Surly she is not going to suggest that homosexuality is more offencive than raping and killing a baby.

Answer 14

Kudos for loving your son shame on your wife for not

You did the right thing in standing your ground but do not leave your own house tell her that if your son goes then she has to pack her bags get go with him. If she tries to take you to court you are in favor since she wants to kick him out, you are in the win win position with a lose lose consequence first try having a family meeting about the subject again, force your dominance just a lil bit if you stand firm she will recognize it and will lay off a little

Answer 15

If this story is indeed true I would like to offer my sympathies. However if you take time a look at the situation you can only come up with one answer if necessary end you relationship with your wife. The relationship between you and your son is one of blood ties and there is nothing one can do to change that connection, On the other hand your relationship with your wife is one of emotional attachment. It is one you decide to engage in and if one decides to that relationship can be fairly quickly ended and terminated legally in the eyes of society. Thus you relationship with a spouse is one of choice that you are able to change and alter while the one with your son is for life and was developed because you had enough love to share with and protect a child of your own loins.

Answer 16

This happens far more than it should. A lot of street kids are living without a roof over their head or knowing where their next meal will come from.



I'd suggest that you remind your wife of love she has for her child. She gave birth to him. She was there when he took his first steps. She walked him to the bus stop on his first day of school. She watched him grow. He's the kid who did things good and bad for the past seventeen years.



Your son is no different now than when he was last week or last month. You and your spouse know something more than you did then but HE hasn't changed.



If her religion demands that she turn her back on her own flesh and blood then she needs to re-evaluate her choice of religion.

Answer 17

I understand what you are going through. I recently came out to my mom(im 17)(i live with my mom only) she didnt like it at all and tried to make me go talk to the pastor at our church, but I refused, because the religiousness about the situation would just make me uncomfortable. Try talking to your wife, kicking him out definitely is not a good thing, being that he is only 17, you are responsible for him until he is 18, and kicking him out could get you into a lot of trouble. I do ow ever like that you are sticking up for him, the whole part about if he goes I go thing shows that you are not kidding and that you are standing your ground, and planting your feet into the cement that he stays. Make her understand that HE IS WHO HE IS, neither you, her, or the bishop can change who he is. People need to understand that a person that has attraction to the same sex or both sexes can not help that feeling, they like who they like, now yes that can change over time do to being a "phase" but sometimes people just know who they are attracted to.

Answer 18

i was 17 when i came out, i told friends first, then parents. it was hard and im glad i had their support. really glad. what your doing by standing by your son is definitely the right thing to do, i have friends who struggle with their parents over the matter but its important they support them.



your wife needs to stop listening to other peoples opinions and follow her own, its not either one of your fault and you both must decide how you feel, if your love for your son is stronger than the opinions of others, then you know what to do



if you were to not follow your parents at 17, would you have managed your early 20's with out them? can your son do so? more importantly an you live not being in his life anymore?

Answer 19

The obvious answer, for now, is to kick your wife out--She at least, unlike your son, is likely to have family to support her and somewhere to go. Once THAT penetrates her religion-closed mind, and she realizes the abominable cruelty that she had nearly perpetrated, she may ask to come back--and whether you want to let her come back will probably depend on how well she understands it.

Answer 20

good for you. its nice to have a supportive dad like you, i dont know what thats like :/ i know you love your wife, but she's completely nuts if she wants to throw out her son, the son she gave birth to and raised, to throw him out like if he was yesterday's trash, simply because of his orientation. you should be proud for sticking out for your son, especially in this case, where your wife is clearly in the wrong, because your son didnt do anything wrong. You should keep supporting your son, and protecting him from your wife, since she wants to harm him to try to change him into sumthing he's not.

Answer 21

That is a tough decision I hope that you make the good one. You seem like a good dad your son is a lucky one to have a father such as you

Answer 22

Imagine how difficult it must have been for your son to come to this conclusion, having been brought up in a religious household.



He could have hidden it - and probably would have changed it if he could. But he chose to be honest, out of love, and respect. He must have guessed his mother might have this reaction, and risked it anyway.



God is supposed to be love and forgiveness, right? "What would Jesus do", I think, is what people sometimes ask themselves. I doubt Jesus would have kicked your son out. Maybe Jesus would try to forgive your wife.



As for bishops... excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but very many of them have shown not just weakness, but evil (because they prey on very young children), as we've seen in the news. The church is made of people, who try to interpret and shape their beliefs. We have no way of knowing for sure what God wants. It's for him to judge, right? Not us.



Love your son, and reach out to your wife, when she will listen.

Answer 23

tell your wife she is being immature. this matter is not only affecting you and your wife but it is affecting your son even more no matter what keep with your son god did not wish for parents to turn on there children in his name ask your wife if she would be willing to go to hetero sexual therapy to turn her gay if her son has to go to homosexual therapy to turn him straight once you have your answer make your desicion from there

Answer 24

Wow, you actually support your son and you are a guy. Usually, women are more supportive of there homosexual children, but you are a rare, special dad that actually cares about his son.



Your situation is sad, but I wish you and your family luck.

Answer 25

I say she go until she can come to terms with it. He doesn't need another negative voice in his ear when society has said enough

Answer 26

something my Christian friend said when i asked him about why hes so ok with gays and other religions and all the stuff his religion calls evil he quoted the bible and told me hate the sin not the sinner



just do what you think is right man...

Answer 27

Tell her if she really loved him, she would accept him and that if she doesn't you will leave her. That he comes before she does.

Answer 28

Put your foot down. You are right.

Answer 29

Is it just me, or does this story sound a little made up?