Is division among ourselves our greatest enemy?

Question

What got me to thinking about this is a friend of mine. He's gay and he came over this weekend. Not only is he gay, but he unfortunately is HIV positive (which he is not aware that I know about). But when he came over he's talking to about how much he hates feminine and/or flamboyant gay men. I found myself speaking to him about generalization and about feminine gay men, the same way I do on here from time to time.

And truly, we have so much division within ourselves...some gay people truly hate the drag scene, the transgender/transexual community gets overlooked and then there are so many negative opinions from the gay community regarding bisexuals.

Some of this I'm sure is human nature, but how do we bring ourselves together for a common cause and is our divisiveness our biggest enemy?

Sorry to make your minds work hard on a Monday morning LOL..

Answer 1

Homosexual does not mean homogenous. I share your point however and am surprised when I hear discriminatory, divisive remarks from peole who are first to complain about discrimination themselves.



Insecurity, ignorance and fear fuel the fires of intolerance, and sadly, many of us have all those things at different points in our lives.



I wonder what it would be like if diversity and difference were really valued in society.



These days I'm much more inquisitive if I don't understand something. That involves asking lots of uncomfortable questions. Like I wonder why your friend is so affronted by flamboyant men? What harm does he think they cause?



BTW one of the real benefits that HIV has brought to everyone is the reordering of patient/doctor relationships. Because the gay community was historically marginalised by the medical profession, from the early days of HIV, we organised support, information and treatments and empowered choice. This has forever changed our relationships, positively, with practitioners.



You got me thinking Wickey ... is it human nature to define ourselves in terms of the other, what we're not? Or are we more human because of our differences?

Answer 2

There is diversity of opinions even in the LGBT community. For example, I am a man who crossdresses and is heterosexual. I typically go to a LGBT friendly bar or nightclub when I dress up because they are a much safer place than a regular one. I have still met a lot of gays and lesbians who are very hostile towards a man who crossdresses, especially since I'm only into women. Prejudices and stereotypes don't cease to exist because you're of a different sexual orientation or gender expression from the mainstream. Even I still have my predjucies. I have a very hard time with overly flamboyant transsexuals and drag queens because their obnoxious actions make people stereotype me into the same lot as them. The biggest thing is to stop, take a breather, and realize that we're all still human and to try and understand each other. We don't have to agree, but at least we can try to understand and tolerate.

Answer 3

There are plenty of divisions that exist naturally. People have a wide variety of views on every issue and they tend to want to be with people that share most of their views. However, there are those that would try to use these issues against us by trying to drive a wedge between us on just a few key issues. This will not solve any problems in the long run, but it CAN be useful to push an agenda for the short term.

Answer 4

Yea your right...Ha its ok this is a good warm up for all the stupid work i have to do today...



anyways...yea i think you right. I think we should just be accepting of people. I mean saying that you hate an entire group of people is kinda weird...like...just because they are a part of that group. I mean saying that you hate flamboyant gay men is no different then saying that you hate gays. Its the same principle...and if people want change...then they are going to have to get over feelings like that.

Answer 5

Absolutely, even the gay vs lesbains I don't agree with. I really think that segregation from society is our biggest problem. People need to realize that we are not all that different, none of us, gay or hetero.

Answer 6

Although we don't want to admit it sometimes, we can all be guilty of prejudice.



I will use "I" instead of "you" or "we" so as not to be accused of generalizations, but I do not necessarily agree with the following statements:



"I want equal rights for all, but I want my equal rights first."



"In the struggle for the recognition of my equal rights, 'they' are holding me back because they are more marginalized than me."



Sadly, it seems to be human nature to compare one to another and thereby showing or declaring how we are as deserving as some--and more deserving than others.

Answer 7

I think that's our second greatest enemy. Our greatest enemy is ourselves, and the convoluted steps we often take to sabotage our own lives.

Answer 8

You would think our community would be the first to embrace diversity. Whether you are queeny or butch we should welcome anyone who has a good heart as we all have something to give to this world.