California Gay Parenting. My kids told me they can't say Mom or Dad at school.?

Question

Quick info. I'm a straight parent and I was completely against Prop 8. I like to think I raise my children (14,12 and 9) in an openminded tolerant household.
I forget exactly how, but anyways, it came up that my kids heard that it is against School policy to use terms like my Mom and Dad or Father and Mother. I corrected my middle school son and ask why was it wrong.

He said it would hurt other kids' feelings that had gay parents cause they don't have a Mom 'and' Dad.

Then my elementary school son said yeah the same thing at their school- against the rules..

I asked where they heard it and they couldn't remember, but that it was "the Law."

My belief is that its fine to say Mom and Dad or Dad and Dad or Mom and Mom or Mami y Papi. I don't think it matters as much as restricting a child not to use what might come natural to them.

Of the gay friends that I have I can't see any way they (or their kids) would be affected by my son calling me Dad.

I want to be completely open to this so I want to hear it from gay families whether they are offended by hearing Mom and Dad.

Are any of you offended by the phrase "Mom and Dad" ?

I welcome any other thoughts/views.
(sorry so wordy)

Answer 1

That is just silly!

What about all the single parents? Are their kids offended buy Mom and Dad?



What next, no one can wear blue on the third Tuesday of the month on a full moon, because I am offended by the color blue in the moon light. on Tuesdays?



People need to grow up!

Answer 2

I am not offended by it and I don't see how anyone could be. I have 3 daughters and I am with a woman my children consider her there step dad. I think step mom is more appropriate but hey they are young and it was there decision to call her that. I think some people are going way too far. I would call the school and find out the facts.

Answer 3

Oh good Lord!!!!!



I am gay, and I am definitely NOT offended by the phrase Mom and Dad.



But considering how many couples are now divorced, using the word 'parents" might be more sensible.



But there's nothing wrong with Mom and Dad. For chrissake.



And I'm a liberal! But that's just too much.

Answer 4

WOW! if it was such a problem using "mom" and "dad" in school because of gays, they shouldve eliminated the words long before now, considering people have step parents, wouldnt that mean if a child had a step parent whom they did not call mom or dad, rather they called them by their name, they would be offended too?... that is just a little ridiculous i think. you should really be asking the people who have gay parents if they are offended by the terms. which i have straight parents, i am not offended at all.



edit: well im glad its just a rumor! :)

Answer 5

Stupidity. The cumulative effect of legislating this kind of nonsense is that parents spend more time with counter-education at home. This leads ultimately to greater division and possibly more "hate" crimes. When will the government figure out that they cannot control our thoughts and hearts? And when will we make them stop trying! In order to educate our little children, there must be a sense of teamwork between parents and teacher. When children are forced to choose whether to believe parent or teacher, and no reconciliation is possible, they end up being taught by peers.

Answer 6

Yeah, I'm all for open mindedness in schools, but I agree even this is really really silly. Besides, it seems like usually kids raised by gay parents still refer to their parents as mom or dad, or some variation on the norm.



They should be teaching them instead that there are just many different types of families and they should all be seen with respect, not ignored.

Answer 7

I agree that that policy, if true, is unreasonable. I'll trust you given you Y!A reputation, and I think you can chalk this up to faux-enlightenment political correctness done as a handout to communities who often reject the cheap overtures. I have no issue with kids referring to mom and dad, but likewise, hope that school teachers ensure that students feel comfortable saying "my parents" or something else neutral.



(doesn't "mom and dad" also make children of single parents a bit uncomfortable?)

Answer 8

I don't have kids, but I will someday.



There are more single parents than gay parents. So it's probably harder on those kids because at least most kids in gay families still have two loving parents. That is just taking things way too far, imho.

Answer 9

I think "mom and dad" aren't offensive at all! We all are the product of a mom and dad, whether we're gay or not. This is an example of political correctness gone too far even for me.



And wouldn't the children of gay parents refer to them as their moms or dads?

Answer 10

I think that is crazy. Do you realize how many children that just have a mom b/c the dad ran off. It didn't become the "law" then so why should it now just b/c a child might have "2 moms".

Answer 11

Absolutely unoffensive. I'm a proud gay day of two little boys and it would make me proud if they could call me daddy to their friends though i'm not their biological father.



I would call the schools and see what their policy really is. I don't think gay or straight parents would stand up to this because its just...ridiculous

Answer 12

im for prop 8, don't believe in gay marriage and am gay.



that's absurd your children freedom of speech should not be abridged to satisfy the over sensitivities of children with gay guardians. If they want to say dad or mom they should be able to, it just goes to show how ridiculous our school system has become, i mean its not like their saying a "bad word".

Answer 13

No, it doesn't offend me at all.

While I like to think that the US is moving towards a position of tolerance, I feel like that "law" is taking things WAY too far.

Answer 14

really? they cant? anyways im not a mother yet lol. but i wouldnt be offended. i actually know a student who has two mommies and everyones fine with it.



i think if the family is fine with it then the terms others use in their family shouldnt matter to them. if i had a kid with another woman i know it wouldnt matter ot me what other students families use.

Answer 15

I came from a mom and a dad so I don't see whats wrong about it.

Answer 16

Would not offend me. Biologically speaking, everyone has a male and female parent when being conceived.

Answer 17

everyone has a mom and dad

there's nothing wrong with that

they're restrict your children's freedom of speech

Answer 18

that's not offensive at all....but you might should hear the rules directly from the school...kids do get confused.

Answer 19

How is "mom" and "dad" offensive? Free speech.

Answer 20

No, after all that's what I call my parents.