Is there anything wrong with identifying as gay?

Question

I am a 17 year old gay guy. I identify myself as gay because I feel gay, act gay, and am pretty much gay. However, occasionally I will feel attractions for women. I can't explain it but it's weird. Personally I think nobody is a 100% one sexuality. I think everyone is a combination of homosexual and heterosexual. That's what the Kinsey scale is for. I like guys over women, and prefer guys only when it really gets down to it. If anything I guess you could say I am a gay-leaning bisexual. However, I do not wish to identify as bisexual because it's only occasionally where I will have attractions for women. It is not impossible for me to have a relationship with a women. However, I doubt that will happen. I mostly rather identify as gay because a lot of people don't believe in bisexuality. I kind of don't believe in it either. No matter what they say, I feel that you are either gay or straight. So therefore I identify as gay. Besides, I am not as attracted to the female genitalia as I am to the man's. So therefore, I rather just identify as gay. I am probably 70% gay, 30% straight. I know that sounds weird coming up with these numbers but that's how it is. So my question is, is there anything wrong with identifying as gay?

Answer 1

"That's what the Kinsey scale is for."

-No, it's not. The Kinsey scale is a rough tool. Some people are exclusively gay or exclusively straight and many (all those 2-5) are bisexuals.



" I am probably 70% gay, 30% straight"

-So you're bisexual with a preference for men, neither gay or straight.





"Personally I think nobody is a 100% one sexuality. I think everyone is a combination of homosexual and heterosexual. "

-False.





" So my question is, is there anything wrong with identifying as gay?"

-Identify as what you want, but you're bisexual, not gay.





"However, I do not wish to identify as bisexual because it's only occasionally where I will have attractions for women."

-So what? You're still bisexual.





"I mostly rather identify as gay because a lot of people don't believe in bisexuality. I kind of don't believe in it either. No matter what they say, I feel that you are either gay or straight."\

Wow, way to contradict yourself ""Personally I think nobody is a 100% one sexuality. I think everyone is a combination of homosexual and heterosexual. "". And you say you don't believe in bisexuality, but you are attracted to both guys and girls. My god! You're bisexual.

Answer 2

Yes, there is something wrong with it. You are not gay! It does not matter how much you wish to be gay, you will always be bisexual. Grow up, and accept that. If you go around telling people that you are gay, but also talk about being attracted to women, people will be confused. You are lying about who you are, and that is not a good thing. You are making the world worse for others by perpetuating ignorance. You are bisexual. Get over it.

Answer 3

Well, I'm sort of like you.

I married a woman because I found that when she started being physical with me when we were dating, I could feel excitement. The relationship really wasn't good (and I believe never would be for me with a woman) and the marriage didn't last.

I can't look at a woman and feel an instant attraction and a desire to know them better- getting close to a woman is work to me. It's not with a man. Therefore, I identify as gay and I don't date women at all.

I don't see anything wrong with it. It will help you avoid the mistake that I made that wasted ten years of my life spent in, for the most part, misery.

Answer 4

The Kinsey scale does not say you cant be gay.

The Kinsey scale is just a man made theory. Mothernature does not have to conform to it.



You are 17. You are attempting to analyze your self when its not necessary. Rather than sit around examining every single emotion trying to make sense of it, get out and enjoy life.

Do what feels right for you on the day.



In other words, if today your into guys then so be it.

If one day a lady comes along and she interest you, then so be it, why not explore it?



(I have a friend who lost his boyfriends after 22 years together, he then meet a lady and feel in love with her. Nothing wrong with this.)



In fact in my view, a guy would be crazy to reject such a feeling simply because as a 17 year old he felt he was gay. Refusing to allow alternative experiences into your life would be a tragedy.

Answer 5

No. It is healthy for you to identify as gay. If you are more attracted to men than women than it is more healthy for you to seek out gay relationships. A lot of people are like you are. Some of them get misled by a homophobic society into marryang a woman, only to have the sexual part fizzle out eventually as their sexual fantasies become more and more dominated by men as they age.



It really is a continuum, as I am nearly 100% gay. And, there really are some bisexuals in the world. Most bisexuals that I have known have eventually settled for one preferred gender. Sometimes it takes a monogamous relationship for this to happen. But, I really think there are some 50/50 bisexuals, who I am less likely to meet because they might be a bit less likely to be open about it or even socially part of the gay community. For whatever reason, true bisexuality that lasts for many years seems to be a bit more common amongst women than men.

Answer 6

Do you mean you occasionally feel sexual attractions towards women? If so, you are BISEXUAL. Gay people are exclusively attracted to the same sex, meaning relationships/sex with the opposite sex would be empty, unfulfilling, and for some, disgusting. The Kinsey Scale measured "sexual behavior," not sexual orientation. Good grief.

Answer 7

No there is nothing wrong with identifying yourself as gay. You are entitled to call yourself what you want regardless of whether you are 100% gay or not; there is no law against it and it's not morally wrong either. I agree that most people are not 100% one sexuality but that doesn't mean that you have to explain that to people; if you prefer men as a general rule then I would say that you are gay. I'll tell you an interesting story about one of my friends; we went to see a Hypnotist show and my friend got picked as one of the people to be hypnotised. The hypnotist told him that he wanted him to pick his ideal partner from the audience and my friend picked this woman. The thing is, is my friend is gay, has always been gay and has never been attracted to a woman; yet under hypnotism he picked a woman as his ideal partner! I think sometimes it's not about gender, it's about an individual. So go ahead, say that you are gay, even if sometimes you are attracted to females.

Answer 8

Are you sexually attracted to women? There is a difference between realizing that a person is good looking (being physically attracted to them) no matter what gender they are & actually be sexually attracted to them. Being a gay guy, it's possible for you to find another guy good looking, but not find him sexually attractive, meaning there's something off that causes you not to want to sleep with him. Sexual attraction is what determines sexual orientation.

Answer 9

It's just a title....

If your dating a female at the time, call your self straight.

If your dating a male at the time, call your gay.



But like others said, it sounds more like a 5% straight, so if you REALLY need to title yourself, call yourself gay... I don't believe in bisexual, most people will think someone of their own gender or opposite of their normal attraction looks, "nice." or "Handsome." I do, but it doesn't make me gay, or straight for that matter, just honesty, I don't judge someone's looks in a bias way by seeing it as me being gay if I called another male handsome.

Answer 10

From your details, I would say you're 95% gay and only 5% straight so, yes, in that case it's better to identify as gay since you will probably never have a relationship with a woman.