Should I accept my cross-dressing roommate?

Dr. D

2010-09-02 14:04:02 UTC

He knows it freaks you out and he is does it anyway. To me he is being disrespectful to your values and sensibilities. You really should tell him that he has to go.

I am a cross-dresser myself. I would never think it would ever be appropriate to infringe on my friends like that. I mean he should remain modest in your house, especially in mixed company!

What he should do is ask you and your fiance about what is okay with you. If you express some expectations then he has a choice to live with them or move out. If he cannot live within your tolerances then he needs to leave.

?

2010-09-02 04:33:26 UTC

Ok so here's the story.

My fiance and I have been living together for about 2 years now. About a year ago we decided to get a roommate to help out with bills. We let a good friend of ours move in with us. He is an older guy (52; we are 24). I worked with this man for about 2 years and even after leaving the company we continued to be good friends. I've known him for total about 6 years. He has become good friends with basically everyone we know. We've all been like a close knit family for years. Well recently (after living with us for almost a year) he came out to a friend of ours that he was a cross dresser when he was younger. Ok no big deal. But since then, he has taken it back up. At first I thought this might be a faze or something he did every once and awhile. But he does it every night! but he doesn't wear womens clothes, he wears lingerie. For the most part he stays in his room in the evenings (since my fiance is freaked out by it). He also recently came out that he has male sex toys that he plays with and he also has a box of tranny porn. I asked him if he was gay but he swears that he likes women. Its just becoming way to much to take. I have always been comfortable with gays/cross-dressers/ drag queens. My own brother is a drag queen and this guy creeps him out. My question is... Should i accept him or send him on his way? I've tried to be supportive but i just don't know how too. Any advice would be great. Sorry for the long drawn out story lol.

anonymous

2010-09-02 04:08:12 UTC

Uhm, the fact that he talks to you about his sex toys and walks around you in lingerie I think he might be into you or something. Anyway, I'm gay and that would creep me out and make me feel uncomfortable. Maybe ask him to be a bit more discreet and keep his stories about sex toys to himself and if that doesn't work ask him to leave.

If you don't want to seem mean kicking him out you could maybe just not mention the cross dressing and say it's because you and you're fiance are ready to live independently or something.

?

2010-09-02 06:33:07 UTC

Acceptance and being supportive is one thing but his behavior seems to be inappropriate for the environment he is living in. As a roommate he needs to be respective of the others in the house, it is no more appropriate for him to be in common areas in lingerie than it would be for anyone else. As far as him divulging his sex toys and porn collection he is just seeking attention and a reaction. I would all 3 of you sit down and set some clear house rules as far is what is accepted in common areas and what is not. As far as his sex toys and porn you can tell him to keep his private affairs private and there is a reason there are doors on rooms. If he cannot respect the others in the house send him on his way.

anonymous

2010-09-02 06:54:53 UTC

i am also a cross dresser , and yes he is severely imposing on you and your fiance imposing on you and subjecting you to this. i live by myself, i have a girlFriendd that likes when i do this, but thepointi am making about this is no is subjected to it who does not want to be. it sounds as if he isalmostt avoyeurr and enjoys seeing yourreactionn. even more to the point your brother, who i am assuming is gay and likes to dress in drag, also finds him disturbingthat'sts really the tell tale thing, your brother knows whats acceptable as far as dressing up goes and finds him in the wrong. i my self am very careful of who i bring it out to because i that some will accept it, and do not want to see it. yeah he sounds like you should show him the door! and this is some one who cross dresses telling you that

rawl

2016-10-23 04:27:17 UTC

Frankly I do have faith you need to tell her. at first you have already got an exceedingly close relationship together with her, and as long as this relationship is as good as you have faith it to be all would be ok. She won't be the main important fan of the LBGT community, possibly because of the fact she has no longer been heavily uncovered to this phase. as quickly as she realizes that her chum is attracted to crossdressing, she might o.k. heat as much as this and you may certainly have some actual exciting mutually... If she would not settle for this, it truly is going to be confusing for you, whether relatively i might recommend that authentic friends choose some moments like this to truly attempt the ability of the relationship. She might bo alright to help you dress and all, whether she won't prefer to flow out in public with you and you will ought to understand this to boot. maximum of all provide her diverse time to digest the information, and don't think of that day after today she would be able to flow procuring with you and help you with all your make up and arrangements. this might take time. the thank you to tell her, i might get her right into a cushty putting - bottle of wine etc. and easily divulge to her. tell her you're gentle together with her and you need to get this off your chest ... she would be able to understand - solid luck

WolfChild

2010-09-02 04:31:52 UTC

I think you should talk to him - tell him that you'd prefer it if he doesn't talk about things that make you uncomfortable. He can do what he likes in his room, but you don't need to know about it. You don't talk to him about your sex life with your fiance, after all (as far as I know). It's your house, you can lay some ground rules. Make sure he knows you're comfortable with who he is, but you feel like you're invading his privacy by talking about it - especially the sex toys.

guesswho_6002

2010-09-02 04:17:01 UTC

A tricky situation.

In short if the activity is creating trouble in ur marrige life life then you should very polietly talk to ur friend and try to convince him to leave.

it seems that he is trying to get close to you people, whatever the reasons may be, I think to should have a word with him.

Mark

2010-09-02 04:17:18 UTC

If he's a good friend and helps you pay the bills I don't see how him cross-dressing would affect you. But it's up to you. If you want my advice, i'd say to keep him. As long as he isn't hurting anyone I don't see the problem