They are scared to come out , the sex addicts who talk about experimenting obviously are leaving out falling in love,,, I fell deeply in love with my best friend I knew for years,, I had no idea she was closeted but I got the gaydar years ago , all my gay friends got it ,, she is simply scared like the guy says , societys cruelty, may be trendy to swing but that crap been going on since beginning of time , being a lesbian is not a choice or a fling , we fell deeply in love because we love to talk for hours have many things in common laugh together are like forest and jenny in forrest gump but we are both mid age and there is a crap load of baggage and fears she is a doctor with 4 sons and a very abusive situation , and not raised in the cool generation we were told so many things to stay afraid of who we were ,, ie going to hell to men being beaten and thrown in jail for just going to a club,, people were killed,, nobody could talk about it and that is what the gay movement was about Harvey Milk gave his life for, it is still alive and well ,, seen OUT late it is not trendy that is just sex it is HOMOPHOBIA plain and simple , if you have not experienced being truly gay and trapped in the proverbial closet you have no idea until you have really been stifled for wanted to love who you love , ,,,, in our generation it was just not like coming out on Ellen or going on you tube and making a video about how unfair it all is today is nothing compared to those of us who pioneered coming out,,,, losing jobs getting bullied being called horrible names and also getting a dishonorable discharge for being who you are,,,, it is,,,, simply closet fear and bigoted fearful straights,,,, my story sticking to it,,,