I don't want to be gay? Please, someone help me?

Question

I am a 15 year old male and I guess you can say I've always known I was gay, but it just recently hit me that I need to come out some day. I really feel so hopeless. I am dating a girl right now, but it doesn't feel right at all. I am not sexually attracted to her but I do feel some sort of connection, it's weird. But, I know to be fully happy in life I am going to need to come out sooner or later. I see couples every day in school and I become sad inside to know I could never, ever have that. I am also a Christian, and I know my church isn't really fond on gays. My Mom had a talk with all of my siblings and me and told us if we were gay or questioning we could come to her, so I know that's a plus for when I do come out. I just am afraid of my other family members and what they will think. One of my cousins is a lesbian, but I feel like it's easier for lesbians than it is for gay males because so many people view them as hot and attractive, while with men it's disgusting and vile. I am afraid of what my friends will think, too. I know if they are really my friends they will accept me for who I am, but they all think I'm straight and no-one thinks I am, because I'm not what you'd call the "stereotypical" gay person. I want to be able to have a wife and kids and grow old with them. I don't want to have to be constantly judged for who I am and what I do in my life, because I do not take criticism very well at all. I don't want to have the fear of getting beaten up by homophobics, be told I'm wrong by churches, be careful where I go because of homophobics, have to worry if I can marry the person I end up loving, or dealing with all of the other hardships that come with being the way I am. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life anymore because of this. I don't feel right at all. Today was sunny and it looked beautiful outside, and I thought to myself "Oh, it looks like summer. I can't wait until summer." But then I remember that I'm gay. For some reason it just makes me sad. Can anyone give me advice for what to do? I need help and I literally think I'm becoming depressed. I cry myself to sleep every night because of this. Please help.

Answer 1

There's nothing wrong with being gay. You sound like you're a lovely person, and your sexuality is just a small part of who you are. You may think you want a wife, just to be normal, but if you're truly gay then lying to yourself will hurt even more than any homophobic remark could. I'm in a similar position to you, I know if I come out to a part of my family they won't accept me. You don't need to come out to them yet, it's not necessary, and if the day comes when it is, if they don't accept you, then they don't truly love you. And why should you keep people like that in your life? You mom seems really supportive. That's awesome. You should consider coming out to her soon if you're getting depressed. I know it sounds scary but if she takes it well (and she told you she would) you'll end up feeling way better about yourself. It can really help to have an ally. Good luck.

Answer 2

I once meet a man who was almost totally blind, he was also deaf and mute. He had a card that explained all this. It did not say what his sexuality was.



I challenge you to spend ONE weekend, 9pm Friday to 9pm Sunday living as he does. Then come back and tell me he has a better life.



Rather than cry poor me, be thankful for what you have.



I have a younger brother and like you I was also crying poor (gay) me. Very much so as he married and had children.

Yet I was wrong as while he did have the life I wished I had, he had issues. He was ever unhappy person, has trouble making and holding friends, he divorced and then bent over backwards to look after his children yet when they became adults they stopped visiting to him. He is also colour blind and while he works its not the best job on the planet.

Then one day I refocused and realsied that I had lots of good things.



Christian.

Please share with me any verses from your Bible that quotes God expressing an opinion on homosexuality. Of the million or so verses in the Bible, six touch on homosexuality and all six were written by men, expressing their view that is, not God's view.



Homophobia.

The link below exposes what is happening there.

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Answer 3

you're actually not born gay, so as that meana you are able to choose for whether or no longer you may prefer to be gay. there is isn't a diverse answer. If that's what you prefer then choose for it, if no longer, then do no longer concern approximately it.

Answer 4

there is nothing absolutely wrong with you, you are perfectly fine now stop being so hard on yourself.

you're only thinking this way because you care about others opinions which is not a good thing.

just accept it if you truely feel that way, there is nothing wrong with it dont listen to what other people have to say, their opinions do not matter in any way. just be happy

Answer 5

I'm sorry, but the only completely reliable way to stop being gay involves stopping being alive as a side-effect. Most people consider that to be a suboptimal solution. The only thing you can do is to talk to your mom (yay Mom!) and ask her to get you to a counsellor who can help you to accept yourself and your sexuality.

Answer 6

How could we help you? You know perfectly well that you can't change your sexuality so stop whining like a little girl, be a man and embrace it. It's pretty much the only thing you can do because you can't magically become straight.