I'm married to a man, I now know I'm bi, am I S.O.L.?

Question

I've been married for 8 years, my husband always knew that I was attracted to women. The sexual attraction that I have towards women is so strong now and it makes me sick knowing I can't act on it . But my body aches just thinking about touching a woman, her touching me back, her smell and her taste. There's no easy answer, I don't think. I feel my only options are: A. Open myself up to having a threesome or maybe a foursome B. Have an affair or C. Suppress the feelings that I have and die at a young age. What do you think? Any other options? Serious replies only, please. Thanks.

Answer 1

If you really want to stay with him than Option A is your best bet. The fact that you've been honest with him about your past interest in women has already provided a basis of trust should he decide to let another woman into the bed. The main fear us straight guys have about being with a bisexual woman is that you'll stop having sex with us in favor of the new girl. I think if you remain honest and loyal to your husband, keep him sexually satisfied, and always ask for his permission before sleeping with another girl he'll be alright with it. If he gets to have sex with the other girl I think he'd definately be more comfortable with letting bring another girl into the bed.

Answer 2

You promised yourself to this person. You don't have to act on your feelings of attraction for women. Just because he knew you consider yourself bi doesn't mean you should be unfaithful to the one you took vows with, nor should you expect him to be ok with you having sex with someone else. I know a girl who is in a lesbian relationship and she's EXTREMELY HAPPY. Although she also finds men attractive, she doesn't act on it because she's faithful to her wife. She doesn't want a man, nor would she bring one into the bed. Bi or not, a commitment is still a commitment and you shouldn't make it and then break it. Some say suppressing feelings is no good, but it's no good to add another person into the mix if it'll break your lover's heart. You won't die without a sexual encounter with another person, will you? Once a person decides to take vows, they should leave all other temptations behind and be faithful. If you are ever REALLY unhappy without a woman, then get a divorce and go get a woman. I wouldn't recommend a threesome or an affair - THAT is just the beginning of the end if you do. I'm sure you feel that your life is unfair like this, but you made a commitment. I'm a lesbian - I understand your interest in women, but I respect the commitment of a marriage, too. Bisexuals always claim that they can love and commit to one person, but then they typically try finding a way to have two people and expect each person to go along with it. Unless you and your spouse agreed to this before getting married, this is just unreasonable and selfish.

Answer 3

first question have u ever acted on it and if u have dose he know that?and if u have and he doesn't mind u should tell him how u've been feeling and if he doesn't mind go and have that time that u need.Now if u tell him and he dose mind well ur married don't cheat on him just try and 4 get it and just imagine ur w/ a woman thats the only thing u can do after that or if its that strong leave him.BUT one word of advice Don't ever bring an other woman into ur bed EVER ur marrage will surly be over w/ that seems to turn a mans thinking about his wife different for so many reasons that are 2 numerus 2 go in 2 on here if u love him tell him see what the out come is and make a choice from there those are ur steps.well i hope u come back and read this if he put the ball in ur court ask him right out if he wouldn't mind if u did a women by ur self !would he be mad and if he says no he wouldn't go right on and rent u a room.

Answer 4

Please, don't have an affair! It could be that you're just one of the people in the world that can't do monogamy. In that case, it's much better to break up with him than to betray him- after all, it's not his fault that you're feeling this way. If your husband is into the idea of a threesome, go for it, but I think that I would be very hurt if my wife had ever suggested bringing someone else into bed with us. It implies that your partner isn't enough for you. Either way, the best thing is to be honest. You could also try role-playing with your husband. Finally, it's possible that you're feeling this way right now but the feeling will fade. After all, lust is usually temporary. If you think it hasn't been long enough to know whether or not this is the case, then wait more. Trust me, from someone whose partner didn't give our marriage the chance it deserved- marriage is a huge commitment, and I think once you've made that commitment, you need to give your marriage some work and time before you mess it up.

Answer 5

OK hunni,

let's think about this.



You are bi, and your husband must have known this BEFORE he married you.Therefore he should be understanding (which he seems to be.)



If you loves this man, then don't cheat on him just so you can get off with a woman. That would be a stupid decision on your part



Another thing, your husband is A MAN! and if he is like any other straight man, he has fantasizes about 2 or more women together with him. So, i suggest having a 3some or inviting him to watch you as you have sex with another woman.



Trust me, this is will you out and your relationship out. I hope i have helped in some way.



Best of luck to you hunni!

Answer 6

If you still love your husband, you should try to find a solution to keep your marriage alive. Ask him if he'd be willing to have a threesome as a way for you to release that tension with those attractions. Reassure him that you still love him, but you need to release some of those desires to keep your relationship healthy.

Answer 7

Present your options to your husband. Maybe he's okay with you having an affair. My wife had a girlfriend for the first year we were married, and she broke it off because she didn't want to have two lovers any more, not because I had a problem with it.

Answer 8

it extremely is not against the regulation to be bi, yet you may enable your spouse in on your little secret. She could be pleased with it, possibly no longer, yet she has the main astounding to be attentive to who she's married to. Be truthful together with her and notice what she says. it may be ultimate in case you end the marriage, yet it extremely is for the two considered one of you to choose for. it may be extra suitable in case you do no longer act out on your desires once you're nevertheless married. you do no longer choose for to threat giving your spouse a sexually-transmitted sickness

Answer 9

Well i guess it's not a problem to be solved in this way.

From my point of view, i think you should talk to your husband, and tell him how you feel and what you feel. and then try both of you to find a solution..

i also think that a threesome would solve the problem but that would be temporarly.. try it and see how you feel...

Anyway.. good luck with that.. it's really a hard problem that you're facing

Answer 10

i would say go for the threesome or whatever but i think that is only going to solve your problem temporarily. so.... i guess i would decide how much of strain this really puts on your marriage. if its a lot then.... i guess i would say follow your heart be honest with your husband and end things to be fair to him too...

Answer 11

Go for B first. If you are comepletely sure about what you feel, then go for A if your husband's OK with it. If not, then you should find someone that understands you.



Definitely not C; it's not possible to live like that.

Answer 12

suggest a foursome or ask him if you can have an open relationship.if he sayd no i think you will end up being unfaithful.talk it through with him before you decide what you are going to do.he knows you are bi so he wont be shocked.

Answer 13

be honest with him, you said he knows youre bi.. ask him if hed be open to you having a little side action. or suggest a threesome etc.you hvae options just talk to him.

Answer 14

Most men dream of a threesome like this.

Answer 15

I think u need to be honest with your hubby, then file for a divorce, and be happy .. you need to live your life the way you want to.. life is way to short to live it any other way! Good luck to you!

Answer 16

Yes, you're SOL (Sort Of Lesbian.)

Answer 17

OH MY GOD!. This world is really falling apart.