Why do men become gay? What goes through their head to do so?

Question

I know gays that were once straight.

Answer 1

they've failed to properly bond with/internalize their own masculine identity, & they are drawn after what they feel lacking in themselves. By having sex with another man, they're trying to get what they feel insufficient in themselves.

Answer 2

Ummmm... whoever told you that gays were once straight was either 1) lying or 2) incredibly misinformed.



I don't know anyone who has made the choice to be gay or straight. I don't know if I was born bi, but I never became bi either. I've just been me for as long as I can remember, and when I got older I realized that bisexual was the word for people like me. Its kinda vauge and simplistic, but that really was all there was to it.



Straight people expand so much time and energy asking why people are gay, it just boggles my mind. Why don't you ever ask why you are straight? Did you ever weight the pros and cons of dick vs p*ssy and come to a decision? I doubt it. You just went with what instictually felt right.



With all the time and energy that straight folks expand on finding a "cause" for gayness, I swear we could have cured cancer or something already.

Answer 3

How do you know that gays were once straight?



Even science can't determine exactly what causes homosexuality in animals and humans. They do know that homosexual tendencies occur in about the same frequencies in animals as in humans (about 1 in 10). There are definite biological differences, but whether they are responsible for homosexuality or occur as a result is unknown.



I can't imagine that anyone would deliberately choose to be gay. Homophobia and hate make it as much of a dangerous preference as AIDS.



I've counseled enough people to realize that the majority of those identifying as gay have been gay since before puberty. It certainly isn't a choice that a small child is capable of making, so I'm inclined to think it's a biological thing. I know that plenty of people have "converted" but I don't have any evidence to know how successful those conversions are, on average.

Answer 4

You know that gays were once straight? How can you possible "know" that? Can you read minds? I'd imagine men and women have absolutely no choice but to be gay or straight. I certainly never "chose" to be straight, and I couldn't choose to be gay either. Whether or not it is genetic or environmental or a bit of both I have no idea.

Answer 5

My brother, who died two years ago on my birthday, was a gay man. I love and miss him very much. Evidently you do not understand that being gay is like being tall or having a certain skin color. You can't help what you were born with. My brother would never have made a conscious choice to face lifelong persecution for being a homosexual. He was a wonderful, kind, loving person, as are millions of other gay people. I've always believed it is none of my business what others do in their bedrooms, and it is not society's business either when we are talking about two consenting adults. In a perfect world, we would judge others only by the intent in their hearts and not by what category we can fit them into. Have some compassion for those who face a very difficult internal struggle while they come to terms with who they really are.

Answer 6

Sheer insanity is the force behind every opposition to homosexuality. The oppositions stated among the answers to this question are full of sheer nonsense.



Homosexuality is a legitimate means to pleasure that can be approached / experienced with intelligence.



No harm / damage is made to anything in all the universe/s due to homosexuality.



Homosexuality is HOT.



Don't worry! The whole population of the whole planet won't turn Gay any time soon.

Answer 7

There has been research on this...I just know it. There was research that I read on homophobic men. Really they shouldn't be called that because they aren't really scared of homosexuals like arachnaphobics are afraid of spiders, but they are more afraid of being homosexual themselves. In fact, homophobic men were shown three different types of pornographic videos, that were men with men, women with women, and women with men...then measurements were taken down below to see how aroused the men became during each video. I don't remember who did the research, but if you look up a Psychology journal from a reliable site like google or something and search for homophobic or homosexual experiment...you could read a very interesting article on it.



Oh, yeah...and I dated a gay guy at one point who hadn't come out of the closet yet. Then I dated a guy that claimed to be bisexual, but he was a jerk...it's all to cover up their sexuality. They weren't ever straight...unless they were before they finished childhood. There must be more studies somewhere!

Answer 8

I think every gay person is born this way. Just because they were once "straight" you have to realize that "society" doesn't approve of this and it's hard sometimes to be 100% whole in your life. But when the time comes to be out it's a magical life altering expierence.

Answer 9

I feel that they turn homosexual, because they think they are weak or mild and believe that only women should be that way and since women have sex with men, they feel they should too. A lot of these feelings arise from earlier traumas, abused maybe or always an outsider... On the same thought line a lot of people turn into pedophiles (desire to have sex with children) because they have an inferior feeling from growing up or previous relationships. Both of these situations are heartbreaking (and wrong!) and should be fought against at the root.

Answer 10

Scientists say they are born that way. Im straight but I like gay men, gay women scare the hell out of me.

Answer 11

Please remember something about heredity, one not only inherits physical qualities, but spiritual as well. To compare being born gay to a physical quality such as height or eye color leaves all of sexual choice open to the same defense. Do pedophiles have this defense? Do proponents of bestiality have this defense? I'm not comparing homosexuals to these groups, but what arouses us sexually cannot be considered a heredity trait.

To continue on another line of thinking, is lying a trait passed on in heredity? Some time during the formative years, it dawns on youngsters that lying is an option in their behavior. Certainly they are born with this proclivity; is every toddler systematically taught to lie? But if we all do it, should lying be an acceptable behavior? If two consenting adults agree to fabricate everything they say, should we as a society accept their lies? Do we call their lying aberrant behavior? We do, we call this abnormal behavior.

There are some proclivities that need to be resisted as unacceptable. To say that this does not include the sexual realm is completely arbitrary and wrong. All behavior is learned (in one way or another) and every possible wrong behavior is rooted in the spirit of every man and not in his genes.

Answer 12

Sexuality, whether homosexual or heterosexual takes time to emerge. Think about it this way: when you were five or six, did you look at a pretty girl and thing 'Oooh, i'd like her give her one'? No, of course you didn't! That's because you hadn't reached sexual maturity yet. Similarly, for men (and women) who are gay, it takes time for them to reach an understanding of sex and sexuality. Because of conflict from social pressures, by the time homosexuals have figured out that they're gay and that it's okay to like people of the same gender, they've normally already dated one or two people of the opposite sex.

Answer 13

People are either gay or they're not. They don't choose to be that way. You've never known a gay who was once straight, I guarantee that. You've known gays who once denied their sexuality.

Answer 14

I believe people are born gay. The ones you know were embarassed to admit it at first and came out of the closet because they couldn't keep lying to themselves or anybody else. I know a lot of people like that too.

Answer 15

Why do men become gay, you ask. I would venture to say to avoid dating the likes of you.

Answer 16

My little sister's friend (a gay boy) once told her that his eyes like girls but his penis likes boys. i think they were pretending or forcing themselves to be straight.

Answer 17

They are born that way. I have several gay friends who dated females at one point. They thought that this is what they were SUPPOSED to do, but they were just kidding themsleves.

Answer 18

Have you ever seen a vagina up close?



THAT'S why we become gay!

Answer 19

you're wrong. if you knew what you were talking about, you wouldn't say that. you're still working under the assumption that choice is involved. and that's just not true.

Answer 20

they doesn't feel safe with women

Answer 21

curiousity

Answer 22

they do it because they know they cant get no girl!!! its pretty nasty tho!!

Answer 23

They can't help it.