Can an early homosexual childhood experience turn someone homosexual for life?

Question

When I was quite young (can't really remember the age, but i guess 6-8, maybe younger, sorry) I practised in oral sex with two older boys (probably couple of years older) pretty much without knowing what i was doing. As far I remember i did not feel exploited or abused by them, only when i was older i came to realise what was that i had done and felt a little resented because they were my cousins. Still I can't remember being majorly upset about it, as I was really young. During this time as well i recall doing nearly the same thing to other kids (as part of a game), thing I felt really awful about it later, really awful, I guess it was driven mainly by curiosity.
When I was 9-10 i was still interested in girls. Can't remember this period very much.
From my 12years onwards i remember i started looking at porn (straight porn firstly) and then i stumbled upon some homosexual porn and started looking at that with more interested over the years to the point that when i was 14-15 i was really attracted to boys (and partially attracted to girls) at this time ididn'tt have the average teenagers puberty experience. I believe i was very confused at the time and didn't think i was attractive enough to pursue a girl (which looking back was quite a silly thing coz i knew of girls who were interested in me, i was REALLY scared). My best friends then were all girls, which i alwaya found to be on the same intelectuall level as I.
This age i was quite frequently interested in some girls, but i kept looking at gay porn when at home, and phantising about it.
My last years of school were marked with a predominance in homosexual atraction, but without any sort of homosexual (or heterosexual) activity. I did have a major interest in one specific boy, but it never materialised.
I finally lost my virginity to a guy when i was 18, after i had moved to a different country. My heterosexual experiences have been dreadful as I've only been in bed with female partners i had no sexual interest at all. I still dread hetero sex, probably because i always felt embarassed of the looks of my genitalia (I was born with hipospadia and went thru surgery 3 months after iwas born).
I have fallen in love with girls in the past years but have not had any heterosexual contact (apart from kissing).
The fact that I could be a homosexual made me really upset during puberty and adolescence, and I have finally come to terms with it (not after MUCH struggle).

I would like to know if that pre-puberty experience have anything to do with the fact that now I am atracted sexually to boys more than to girls.

Sorry to turn this into a psychology session, the real ones are way to expensive and I just want to know if anyone has similar stories....
thanks.

Answer 1

People that are ABUSED or MOLESTED as children will experience a mental disorder called "Gender Confusion" based on their trauma causing the hardwiring of the brain to alter.



That does not mean that people exposed to homosexuality will experience gender confusion or be "Turned" gay.



Homosexuality is genetic. Period.



Gender Confusion is the result of abuse in early childhood and can be tweaked and helped by therapy to make the person understand who they truly are genetically and follow those genetic predisposition's.



Abused children follow a rather predictable path in life in terms of life choices and repeating cycles of chaos in an attempt to master the original trauma and say "I do this because I am in CONTROL!" It is a way of maintaining an equilibrium despite the fact that they are repeating the cycle of trauma over and over again in their lives.



This Gender Confusion has absolutely positively nothing what so ever to do with being homosexual.



A Gender Confused person may seek treatment for their trauma and come to understand that they are straight once they can work through the mental illness.



A Gender Confused person may seek treatment for their trauma and come to understand that they are gay once they can work through the mental illness.



They will work through their issues and be able to be that which their genetics have made them.



The fact that we have been able to discover the evolutionary benefits of the gene patterns that cause homosexuality shows that it is NOT a choice.



The fact that we have been able to capture the differences in the way homosexual brains function differently from straight people shows that it is NOT a choice.



The fact that we have seen and documented homosexuality and bisexuality in almost every higher life form and a large chunk of lower life forms as well shows that it is NOT a choice.



How can a killer whale "Choose" go be gay?

How can a seagull "Choose" to be gay?



Do you REALLY think that 'satan' has stolen these animals souls and made them turn to the dark side and be homosexual?



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☀ Single, Angry, Straight Male... Seeks Same?

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☀Evolution myths: Natural selection cannot explain homosexuality

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn13674-evolution-myths-natural-selection-cannot-explain-homosexuality.html



☀Evidence for maternally inherited factors favouring male homosexuality and promoting female fecundity

http://209.85.229.132/search?q=cache:pz9KfwhuF4wJ:www.bio.ilstu.edu/sakaluk/BSC%2520304/BSC%2520304%2520PDFs/Camperio-Ciani%25202004%2520P%2520Roy%2520Soc%2520homosexuality.pdf+evidence+for+a+genetic+component+of+homosexuality&cd=55&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=uk



☀GENDER BASICS:

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☀Mom's Genetics Could Produce Gay Sons

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☀Bisexuality is a Distinct Sexual Orientation

http://www.scientificamerican.com/podcast/episode.cfm?id=8902D6F8-F97C-E6FE-74B6D67845F05FEA



☀Why Gays Don't Go Extinct

http://www.livescience.com/health/080617-hereditary-homosexuality.html



☀The Real Story on Gay Genes

Homing in on the science of homosexuality—and sexuality itself

http://discovermagazine.com/2007/jun/born-gay



☀Survival of genetic homosexual traits explained

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn6519



☀Mothers' genetic skew linked to gay sons

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☀Having Older Brothers Increases a Man's Odds of Being Gay

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=having-older-brothers-inc



☀Gay Brain Shows Gender Atypical Traits

Asymmetry Seen in Straight Men, Gay Women

http://www.webmd.com/brain/news/20080616/gay-brain-shows-gender-atypical-traits



☀The Effeminate Sheep And Other Problems With Darwinian Sexual Selection.

http://seedmagazine.com/content/article/the_gay_animal_kingdom/



☀Female Albatrosses Shack Up

http://www.livescience.com/animals/080527-samesex-albatross.html



☀Homosexual Animals Out of the Closet

http://www.livescience.com/animals/061116_homosexual_animals.html



☀Same Sex Couples Common in the Wild

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☀Homosexual behavior in animals

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual_behavior_in_animals



☀1,500 animal species practice homosexuality

http://www.news-medical.net/news/2006/10/23/20718.aspx



☀Bisexual Species: Unorthodox Sex in the Animal Kingdom

Homosexual behavior is common in nature, and it plays an important role in survival

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=bisexual-species



☀Do Gay Animals Change Evolution?

Animals that engage in same-sex sexual behavior may be acting in accord with adaptational strategies rather than against them--and bending the way we think about evolution

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=gay-animals-and-evolution



☀Gay ducks derail repopulation plan

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EVERY link provided is a direct source of evidence for my opinion. The Guidelines of Yahoo! Answers specifically says that you are REQUIRED to cite your sources. I am merely following the Guidelines by providing links to support my opinion. Please READ THE Guidelines... http://answers.yahoo.com/info/community_guidelines.php

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Answer 2

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Answer 3

you cannot "just see the light!", does not work that way, read about oskar wilde and his "conversion" to homosexuality. from personal experience - i did not act on it - but i have major crush on young interpreter while i was stationed in egypt... but this was once in my life, it passed and since then never have any homosexual urges or tendencies, i am married to same lady for more years than i care to remember, have four children (oldest 39...)... there is no such think like 100% homosexual or 100% heterosexual, our sexual behaviour depend very, very much on our uprising as well as on standards of society in which we live. majority of us fall somewhere in ambivalent zone of 50/50... and what we do - we decide... and no, i do not think that homosexuality is evil, have several homosexual friends, of both sexes, as long as it is not compulsory, i do not care... what person do in they own time, i do not care either... .



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Answer 4

If you want to talk to a real doctor, call the Loveline radio show and have Dr. Drew answer. I hear this question all the time on Loveline. Yes, some people are born gay and some people have experiences like yours that kind of confuse them. I'm not saying that you're confused now, but talking to Dr. Drew will let you know that your situation is not that unusual.

Answer 5

Well, signs of adult sexual orientation can start to develop at around age 6-7 in most children. I don't think the experiences made you gay, I think you participated because you were already heading down the rainbow road. I had similar experiences when I was a kid and, well, I liked it even back then.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

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Answer 8

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Answer 9

No, but it can cause emotional damage which can lead someone to deny their homosexuality.



Being gay is not something anyone has control over.



*was NOT molested as a child*

Answer 10

I know what you're going through. I've always known i was gay, ever since i can remember being able to think, actually. But as a kid i was still attracted to women. It wasn't until right around before i hit puberty that i stopped liking girls. The thing though, is that i think i liked woman, because i could talk to them more easily. And that bond gave me sexual thoughts about them. But remember, i already knew i was gay, and that wasn't even a question. Personally, im a touched by your story, and i applaud you for being so open, but getting psychological help is important. I only say that b/c im no doctor, and i don't know what that can do to a person. Speaking of which, i honestly don't know if that whole ordeal could have made you gay. I honestly doubt it, because from my attempts as a child to be straight, i not only found out that i couldn't do it, but it made me not like girls sexually anymore. Nevertheless, if ever i can help you again, contact me and ask me what you want to know. I'm always listening ^-^

Answer 11

In my opinion, I do not believe your experience, when you were younger, has anything to do with your homosexuality. I myself am a homosexual also and I strongly beleive that you are born being gay, straight, lesbian, ect.. I was born into a big family with 2 brothers and 1 sister, me and my sister never got along, it was me and my brothers that I mostly learned from and I still turned out to be gay when I got older.



My point is, experiences, when we are younger don't change who we are, they only teach us a little more about ourselves. We shouldn't assume right away, when a baby is born that he/she is gay, straight, lesbian, ect.. That is left to them to decide because only they can feel the rain on their skin.



As for the hipospadia, I am truly sorry about that but I don't believe that had anything to do with you being gay.. I wish you much luck.. you sound like a great person.

Answer 12

Well the fact you felt like blowing them in the first place is more likely a hint you were always attracted to boys, even if you didn't realize. You sound bi.

Answer 13

Tbh!! The same thing happened to me!!

I recently remembered it!!

I never did anything else to anyone else or ever felt "upset or repressed" about it!!

But I am gay!!

Answer 14

I personally dont know how people are 'Born gay' 'Genetically gay' 'Turned gay' Whatever, I dont why I am bisexual, WHy others are gay, Bisexual oor lesbain. I have no clue, I just know that we are, And I end it at that!



I dont think that a homosexual experience could turn someone homosexual atall.

My bestfriend Jessica, And my other bestfriend lauren, Had a lesbain experience with eachother at the young age of eight. They both preformed oral on eahother.

Jessica, Is in no means a lesbain or bisexual, She is straight, With a steady relationship with her boyfriend aaron!

Now lauren, Shes more open sexually then jessica, But she is still straight. She said she thinks some girls are sexy, But she would never do anything with a girl other than kiss, And would NEVER get into a relationship with a girl period!



Where as me, I never had a homosexual experience as a child. I did have a hetrosexual experience at the age of around 8-9 with a boy on my street, We were both curious, As were lauren and jess.

Yet, I am a bisexual, WHo is sexually attracted to both sexes, But with no emotional attraction to guys.



But as a young girl, I always felt different, I didnt like 'Girly' Things, I was a little tomboy.

But as the years went on, I fell out of the, Tomboy stage, And I am now more girly.

But thinking back, I remember thinking a few times, I wish i was a boy so i could kiss the girls like them, Now, These arent the thoughts of a straigt girl is it?

As soon as I knew what the word gay ment, I kinda thought that maybe I could be gay, But no, Im bisexual.



I hope i helped slightly:)

Love Shannon =)

xx

Answer 15

Yes, i was abused by school bullies sexually and also by older cousins.

There is somethng called Stockholm syndrome where you identify with your abusers.

How you became gay is not the issue really. You cannot change what was done to you . Accept yourself and don't let anyone make you feel bad about who you are.We are who we are and not what we do when we are naked. Labels serve to pigeon hole everyone and force us to pick sides. Do what you are comfortable with.

Answer 16

I could relate with some of the things that happened to you when you were young. Around the ages of 8-9 my friend who is a guy and my neighbour I remember he used to take me into this abandoned house in front of our street. And he gave me oral sex. He tried to make me do it as well but I never did. He always did the homosexual act. In school at this age I also had crushes and some likings to girls but I always knew that It wasnt enough for me to pursue a sexual relationship with them.



I always believed that you're born gay. Looking back, I think I was always gay even if I didnt have that expereince with my neighbour. At the back of my mind I just did'nt feel attracted enough to girls at a sexual level. Although I did have a romantic relation with my 3rd degree relative. But I never tried anything with her, it was just writing letters talking about stuff, meeting up etc. That was when I was 13-14yrs old. She wrote me a final letter when I migrated in London at 14yrs old. I still have her letters, I read it once in a while it arouses feelings of close friendship becuase of the deep things she has written to me but never sexual. At this age as well I have had some interests coming from girls. But unlike you, I didnt feel unattractive, I always ebelived in myself thats probably why I got some of the attentions from girls.



So in my case, I think my pre-puberty experience just further rest assured my mind that I was always a homosexual from birth. In your case I think you were really confuse. Its understandable to questions things at that age because we dont know any better. What I knw with great confidence is that if you have questions with your sexuality you are either, gay, bisexual or curiuos. I knew I was definitely gay at the age of 17 when I met this guy in my school he is straight but I had the most dangerous emotional affair with him. It was a poisonous infatuation that I still go through right now. Im 18 will be 19 in 12days. We didnt have sex, but he knew my feelings for him. Though like yours it didnt materialise the feelings I had for him was intense. Even after high school now which is 5months ago, I still have feelings for him. It hurts me lol especially because we didnt talk about it. We were never in a relationship but we treated each other as if we were (well as far as I knw).



Personally at you're age now (you're 18 right?) you are choosing your own sexual preference. Despite how much you think your past experiences may influence the way you are right now, it is your choice to be gay or not. Yes to some extent, your pre puberty experience may have affected youre sexal orientation overall but what is happening and youre doing right now is a completely new matter.Now, If you want any advice at all from me before I finish, always beleive in yourself. The only thing you can take with pride at the end of this journey is your persona, youre personal worth, nothing else.



Much love