So, why do some of you find it threatening if other people claim that THEY have chosen to be queer?

Question

I'm referring to THIS website, which apparently lots of you regulars on here absolutely HATE, and I don't really understand why:

http://www.queerbychoice.com/

These people do NOT claim that ALL people who are queer have chosen it. Just that THEY themselves did. Neither do they claim that being queer is somehow a BAD thing. They are actually very proud of their queer identities, and wouldn't want it any other way. So I was just wondering: why do some of you people hate that so much?

Sure, maybe YOU don't believe they actually chose it, but that they were really queer all along and just didn't know. I get that. However: is it really all that threatening that *they* disagree? And shouldn't THEY have the right to identify in whatever way THEY see fit, as long as they let us do the same thing without trying to pigeonhole us? If their statement was that ALL queer people choose to be queer, I can see why you would be p*ssed. However, they are only talking about THEMSELVES, so what is so bad about that? I just don't get it...

I guess one fairly obvious think you MIGHT say is that they're giving queer people a bad rep by claiming that SOME are able to choose it, and thereby giving homophobes + transphobes an easy way to attack us, considering how they're always pushing the "it's a choice for everyone!" argument. However, I personally think whether or not it is a choice is completely irrelevant. What matters to ME is that homosexuality does NOT freaking hurt anyone, or impact anyone who is NOT in a gay relationship, and should therefore be fully accepted! THAT is what we should attack them on. NOT on the whole "nature vs. nurture" issue. Even if it WAS a choice for everyone, which I know it isn't, it wouldn't matter, because there would still be absolutely NOTHING wrong with it!

Thoughts..? Agreements? Disagreements?
I'd love to see your opinion, no matter what it is. =)

Answer 1

I had to do a double-take on your screen name. I thought you were a clone. (Edit: Before I read what you wrote, I thought, "WTF IS THIS? Someone's playing double agent?") XD



One of the problems I have with the whole "choice" argument is that it doesn't explain sexual impulses. Choice implies that you have conscious control of your sexuality and romantic orientation, and some folks don't seem to have that. I'm not arguing for genetics, as the whole "gay gene" thing is equally nonconclusive, but I do believe it's more than just a choice.



But what do I know, I can't figure out how sexual attraction works. I just assume it's like looking at someone and wanting to bang them. *shrug*



@Unexpected Genius: Yes, but I notice there are people who don't necessarily fall in love, but fall into lust, which I assume comes from sexual attraction. I don't get how it works, since I don't really feel the urge to sleep with people.



Making assumptions. Did I sound convincing?



Edit: Also, college helps broaden your sexual knowledge, whether you want to know about it or not.

Answer 2

This website is honestly going to set the gay rights movement back several years. The biggest problem I have with this is the simple fact that being gay is not a choice. It's not as simple as switching on a light switch on and off, it's disgusting to think that people can suggest that they can choose one day that they're are going to start being romantically involved with a single gender because they can turn that urge on and off. Like most of us who have struggled many years through torturous social settings thinking all your life that it is a phase that this website makes you want to throw these people into a fire. Im only saying this because they generalize the entire gay population as choosing this way of life and I am obviously 100% against this arguement. It's fine it they say they choose because like many of the other people have suggested they might be bi, and only desiring to have gay interactions, in which they have really chosen between their sexual identities. This website has indefinitely made Harvey Milk turn over in his grave.

Answer 3

Cause they didn't choose it anymore than anyone else can actually choose to be gay or straight. Honestly I think anyone who "chooses" to be gay is bisexual and chooses to solely act on homosexual desires.

Younger people are attracted to this because choosing to be "queer" might give the appearance, that they are more more open and accepting. When they are just bisexuals choosing to not have heterosexual sex.



"Making assumptions. Did I sound convincing?"

Eh, I don't really believe in "asexuality", I know people are less desiring of sex, but fully asexual? I have a hard time accepting that. Though, asexuality does seem like it could actually be, unlike "pansexuality" which is complete bs, unless you're talking about one of Freud's theories, but most of his theories are kind of bogus as well. Also, your basic assumption that it is just about "lust" is wrong. Part of being homosexual or straight or bisexual is the emotional attraction you feel, not just lust.

Answer 4

Obviously if some say they choose, bigots will think we all choose. common sense. All we've worked for could be destroyed because of these few people.



Noted: @ Juzzo: Aren't you Asexual?

Answer 5

Honestly, I don't care if they choose. The choice is and has always been there-born that way or not.Their choice.

Answer 6

The only problem I ever have is when people claim lies are fact. What people claim on that website are lies.