Undercover crossdresser?

Question

Hello all. I am struggling with the desire to crossdress behind my fiancee's back. It is worse because I know k can not do it and it is something I know I am repressing. I think it is worse because I am sexually repressed as well so I desire more extreme fantasies. Any advice? I am struggling here...

Answer 1

In the beginning, my wife didn't know about my crossdressing, and like you, I was hiding it all along... One time, I went to Tokyo by myself and I visited a crossdress studio to have some fun! I felt like I was in heaven to be so feminine for a day. I went to another crossdress studio that also had a shibari (Japanese bondage) mistress to satisfy my "bad girl" fantasies. And of course, while at the studios, I had photos taken of me. When I came home to Sapporo, I guess she "suspected something", looked through my suitcase while I was at work, and confronted me when I came home. Through her tears, she asked me who the girl was and where did I go to take shibari photos... and me, well, what else can I say but to come clean and tell her that the girl in the pictures, tied up hanging in ropes, was really me... I think you can kind of imagine how awkward and silent that night was in bed...



Gradually, she learned about what is crossdressing, and today, I consider myself to be one of the lucky ones with a still loving and accepting wife. She sees how happy and relaxed I am when I change into a skirt or dress... I feel so free... I don't do it everyday, but she let's me wear anything I want around the house and we've even gone lingerie and cosmetics shopping together before. We're like 2 best girl friends when I'm Christine.



One of the things that really hurt her the most was the fact that I didn't tell her earlier... It didn't bother her so much that I was wearing women's clothes, because what's the problem really? It's just fabric in different colors, patterns, and cuts. But what was so upsetting was that I had hid a secret from her, I had lied to her, I betrayed her trust... And likewise, she felt so ultimately guilty for having looked through my personal things and discovering something she truly had no idea about. If I could rewind time and do it all over again, I would have told her and avoided all the turmoil that followed.



I honestly know how you feel... And I don't mean to boast with my story, but I just wanted to show you that there *are* wives who are accepting and where you can live a happy (and balanced) life. My wife and I have had more than a handful of "long talks" about crossdressing and whether or not I really wanted to be a woman... It's not easy... Actually, maybe I'd categorize it as down-right difficult... and it takes a long time with a lot of compromises.



I don't know if your wife is accepting or not, only you can tell, but you can always ask her indirect questions like when you see feminine looking guys on TV or in a magazine, ask her what she thinks of his style, his hair, or whatever. Just be very subtle about it (not bombard her with questions about it everyday), and over time, you can get a little idea of what she thinks about it.



I did find one good website from Y!A before (link in the source below)... It has a lot of good articles to read through, for both the husband and wife. Good luck, have fun, and be safe! (^_~)/



Christine

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Answer 2

Crossdress Studio

Answer 3

i've been a crossdresser for virtually 30 years. I have long past via the more than a few levels of being a crossdresser. I have purged my garments extra occasions than I can take into account. I were married and whilst she knew of my crossdressing, she ended up no longer liking it. (We have separated but it surely used to be no longer as a result of the crossdressing) The end that I have come to is conveniently this: To thine possess self be actual. If you prefer crossdressing -- then crossdress. It's adequate. Be pleased with the man or woman you're. The garments you put on do not outline you, your movements do. Enjoy who you're.

Answer 4

A difficult one, I assume your fiancee doesn't know? There are one hell of a lot of people out there who dress without their SO's knowledge. Have you ever raised the subject with her? Just to find out her feelings.... Some of my friends have been pleasantly surprised by an accepting partner.



If the feeling is that strong it is unlikely to ever go away, so finding out whether she understands is vital to the future of your relationship.



Good luck

Answer 5

Ask her what she thinks of cross dressers,say you seen it on the internet when u meant to type in dresses to buy for her.

Also,you could say if she wants to go out with her friends for a drink sometimes,its fine,she may ask why you saying that,just say she deserves a night out.

Then you can cross dress secretly.

But some females like a male in female clothes,but try my advice.

Answer 6

I cannot address most of your issues knowing nothing more than what you've written here.



One thing that I have to tell you is to tell your SO about your want/needs before you get married. It would be unfair to her to do anything else.