why do gay's have to make a point of it?

Question

This is a serious question not me trying to offend any homosexuals. I know a three lesbians ,two in a relationship with each other, and the other single, and one flamboyant gay man. one of the girls in the lesbian couple is very 'normal' (if that is the right word, if not i apologise)and the other is very masculine. The gay man is always talking in that annoying high pitched voice and drawing out his words. My issue here is, why do some homosexuals feel that they have to make a point of being gay? why not just go about like everyone else. I am aware that straight men do it as well with their drunken bragging about sex, but i just see it more in gay men.

Answer 1

I do not make a point of being gay; those who dislike gay people make a point of it for me.



Those who dislike gay people are not satisfied with letting me lead my life free of harassment; they make a point of telling me that I should be fired from my job if I do not make a point of hiding who I am, that I shouldn't have a parade (like Irish-Americans on St. Patrick's Day or Italian-Americans on Columbus Day), and that I should only "go about like everyone else".



To "go about like everyone else" means holding hands with a member of the opposite sex & marrying the opposite sex. It is not that gay people make a point of being gay, it is that straight people make a point of being straight and expect everyone else to do the exact same.

Answer 2

Why do straight people flaunt their heterosexuality? As a gay man, I'm surrounded by straight people talking about their boyfriends/girlfriends, husbands/wives, fiances, etc. I see pictures of their opposite-sex spouses on their desks. Heterosexuals are touching and kissing in public. They talk about their weddings and engagement parties and children. Ads and commercials are full of heterosexuals coming on to each other. Men brag about their conquests of women. Women brag about their men. Songs sing out about the lives and loves of men and women. Most movies have heterosexuals as the main characters.



All this is fine and acceptable. But the second a gay person even hints that he/she might be gay, we are the ones making a point of it. What's wrong with this picture?

Answer 3

I don't go around making a point of being gay. I go out to my public life and go home to my private one. Like anyone else, the two intermingle. I can't help it if someone calls to everyone elses attention that I live with a guy, then the tongues start to wag. I can't help it that others who have issues choose to single me out. It's not my fault that some people are so hung up on the lives ot others for their personal reasons. I don't have a hang up on what others do, why do you? At least you appear to have one. Don't you have a life of your own? No offense but it appears you have a problem with people in general who are different from what you percieve as being similar to you, and that is the fundemental problem humanity faces today.

Answer 4

What your talking about has nothing to do with being "gay" and has everything to do with "self-expression."



I know many effeminate STRAIGHT men. Men that are married with children and who still have limp wrists and put a hand on their hips. They are no different than those who are called Goth, or any other person simply EXPRESSING THEMSELVES! The fact they feel secure enough to do this, to me, is a sign of bravery! I'm not sure I'd have the nerve : )



So, so while many people are naturally 'effeminate' many others simply are secure enough in themselves to express their personalities through various forms of self-expression. Also, you can walk in public holding hands, its not safe for us until we let everyone know who we are. When the world is comfortable enough with us, maybe we will be.

Answer 5

Because there is a point of why to come out. Look how societies views have change, or are in the process of changing, because we made a "point" to come out.



Mainstream society, general as a whole, will not automatically change it's views or direction if not challenged. Anti-sodomy laws will still be on the books, police would still be arresting Gay Men, we would be fired from our jobs, etc., had we not made the "point" of coming out Gay.



Other than that, if you knew I was Gay, it would only be trivial, not necessarily socio/political. (i.e., it would only come up naturally in conversation should the subject arise.)

Answer 6

Why do heteros have to ask such annoying questions about our mannerisms??



It could also be asked that why do some breeders make it a point to show the world that they're breeders?? Why not leave the kids at home??

Answer 7

probably because society tells them they are bad people. so it would seem logical to flaunt their defiance of socitey's rules, just like anyone else who has a problem with the way society tells them to act. and also, it seems to me that people often notice gays and lesbians "flaunting" their orientation more simply because it's not as common, and therefore more memorable. for example, if you see a guy and a girl kissing, you probably won't think much of it, but if you see two guys kissing, you are more likely to notice

Answer 8

With all due respect, you are what some might call very ignorant. Gay people don't need to make a point of it.

Answer 9

You really don't get it, do you. Straight people talk about sex and relationships all the time....for example "your mother and I think"...#1 they are straight #2 they are possibly married #3 they have had sex at least once......Everyday normal conversation to you is littered with straight innuendos.

Answer 10

I think it's just that you notice more, because you find it shocking.



I'm a lot less disturbed by a gay man being "flamboyant", than by a half-drunk jerk looking at me and saying "look at that b*tch, I bet she likes (insert vulgar remark)", hoping for God-knows-what...

Answer 11

They are just being themselves.



Look at the variety of actions and behaviors in the "Straight" hetro world.



It is just that we are use to seeing the varieties in the straight world..



Also.. I have seen those "gay actions' in allot of heterosexual people...



We are all different. Look out there at all people and you will see it...

Answer 12

I'm gay and you would never know if you met me or even knew me for a while.



I don't find flamboyancy attractive.

Answer 13

I some what agree to you about your question. I also don't like when a gay guy use that feminine voice. Me and my boyfriend are gay and we live our life just normally like any one else would.

Of course there are other way to tell other people that you are gay, however, being a total queen is some one's prefference.

As much as I don't like them being a queen, hey its a free country, all I can do is to tell them have fun with yourself.

Like I said, not all of us gay guys do it, just those who likes their feminine side.

Answer 14

I don't. The only people that had any suspicions about me being gay was my family. No one else knows unless they ask me. I don't care who knows, I just don't like to flaunt it.

Answer 15

Making a point to be themselves? Hmmm.



So what you are saying is that you can't handle people that are not like you, and you wish that everyone was like you.

Oh yeah, that's not offensive. (rolling eyes)

Answer 16

Being gay is a craving for attention. And it works as you defiantly noticed.

Answer 17

Puh-lease! Honey, I see more heteros making a point of their sexuality than I do homos making a point of theirs. And you think your friend is faking his voice? That's absurd. (I hope my text doesn't come off as too gay and annoying for you).

Answer 18

Most of us don't and thats you being nit-picky and stereotypical.

Answer 19

Because they are proud,nothing wrong with that.