Question:
My girlfriend thinks it's ok to allow another man to give her a shoulder massage. I think it's inappropriate. ?
anonymous
2011-06-23 17:51:59 UTC
Sitting with a group of friends tailgating, my girlfriend thinks it's ok for another man to give her a neck and shoulder massage. She says because he's a professional and she's known him for 20 years ( he's a friend of her ex-husband ) there's nothing wrong with it. I disagree. Am I being too insecure?
Six answers:
MzCalypso
2011-06-23 18:05:39 UTC
Yes, pardon my bluntness, you're being an insecure twit. If he's a licensed massage therapist, he probably gives lots of friends shoulder massage. He's a long-time friend, right? If they were going to get together, they'd have done it BEFORE she met you.



If your gf is at ALL prone to muscle tension headaches, the guy is doing her a big favor. Get over your possessiveness before she tells you to get lost.
Zunden
2011-06-24 01:11:38 UTC
If the person giving the massage was a woman, would you care? I bet not. It's just because that person is a man. Now, let's say he's a gay man. You probably wouldn't care about that either. It's just because you view your wife as an attractive female and the person giving her a massage as a competitor. But, your wife doesn't see him that way. That's the major thing here--your wife doesn't consider this man you're competition. If she doesn't even think of him that way, why should you? She's the one who would have to want to cheat on you with him, not you. Furthermore, because this guy IS a professional, he sees hot women for massages all the time. He probably sees hot, single women all the time, and therefore has no reason whatsoever to want your wife, no matter how wonderful she is, because she's unavailable on so many levels (his friend's uninterested, re-married ex-wife? Dude, did you miss all of high school and college, or just the sections where they taught dating rules? That's SO off-limits, it's not even funny!).



You need to trust your wife a little more. She's getting a neck/shoulder massage from a friend in a public place with you there to supervise. If she was meeting him for two hours a week in his posh, private parlor and wouldn't let you know what he massages or let you come see what's going on, then you'd have the right to be worried. But there's nothing more than a neck/shoulder massage going on here, and you and everyone else can see that's all that's happening. Nothing erotic, nothing intimate, just a little shoulder massage. If you're really worried about it, though, you could always ask said man to teach you how to massage the way he does, so you can do it for him when she wants a massage.
RachelS165
2011-06-24 01:15:23 UTC
I think you're being way too insecure and reading too much into it.



A neck and shoulder massage isn't sexual -- unless YOU decide to read into it something that isn't there. And if the guy is a professional massage therapist and a long-time friend of 20 years, I don't see anything wrong or inappropriate here.



Lighten up.
?
2011-06-24 01:01:00 UTC
If it's just a shoulder massage I don't think you have anything to worry about, but if it's one of those massages where she gets naked and they use lots of oil then I'd worry more. You're fine now though, a shoulder massage doesn't mean anything.
anonymous
2011-06-24 00:55:34 UTC
Us girls love massages I don't think you should worry as long as it's nothing more than a massage
?
2011-06-24 00:55:34 UTC
Ya I think you are been too insecure.


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