Why do you gay or bi people get upset when others say u are confused?

Question

At least at one point you were...right? this question is not to offend anyone. Im not a gay basher. Just curious. Some gay/bi people admit they didn't know how to feel except for guilty if they were tought its wrong. Then there are those in complete denial and haven't accepted what they are yet. And some go through a transition of confusion, trying to find their place and tune into who they really are. Others are not interested in the same sex unil way later in life. So why not admit that there are some confused people among you.

Answer 1

I don't deny that there are confused people. There are confused straight people do. What I hate is when people tell ME that *I* am confused. No one gets mad when people say that in general, there are confused people. What ticks us off is people implying that the individual is confused when they are not.



I am not confused. I have not been confused about my sexuality since I learned that the word bisexual existed when I was 16 (I was very confused at that period of time because I knew heterosexuality and homosexuality existed, but I knew I liked both so I didn't understand where I fit in). That was a very long time ago.



There are of course confused people in the LGBT community. But people tend to say that we are ALL confused. Or that one group is. It is that kind of blatant generalization of millions of people is just out right ignorant. Some are undoubtedly confused.. All? No.. Most certainly not.

Answer 2

I will admit that I am confused. Because I didn't plan to be this way. Growing up, I learnt that women are made for men and vice versa. So I ignored my longing for a girlfriend up till now.



You go to school, graduate, get your dream job... and realised you're a lesbian. While everyone around you are doing what society sees as "right"... I'm sick of hearing people saying why I'm not dating anyone cos I'm pretty. Ya, I don't know what else to add.



Oh ya, when I came out to my cousin, sister and friend(s), most of them were shocked. They told me I'm "confused" and in a "phase". That's not very supportive. It's not like I didn't think things through before jumping to any conclusion. I know what I feel inside is real.



As for the "open relationship" question, I'm sick of married men using younger women as toys. Or the girls using the married men for money and stuff. I don't know. I just hate it.

Answer 3

Well, my 2 cents worth

I think we have many Bi-sexual people that do not like the term, they want to use the label that suits them at this time. If you married a guy or girl and had sex for years but just thought it ok and would rather be with the other sex . YOU ARE BI-SEXUAL and now you are choosing same-sex (you did not BECOME GAY). If you are gay, you never were sexually attracted to opposite sex, that simple. There is nothing WRONG with bi-sexual, but alot don't like term because it looks confused

Answer 4

Because Im not confused, nor have I ever been when I was jsut coming into my own. I simply didn't know the word for how I felt.



Don't generalize, I am not every gay guy out there.

And other times when straight people say we're "confused" it's a derogative way of saying "we just haven't found the right woman/man yet."

Answer 5

I've never heard of people getting upset over confused people.

I get frustrated with bicurious people that say they are gay and they use you as experimental game to make sure if they are gay or straight. I've seen that done to way too many gay people and I've seen too many of them get too attached and have their hearts broken.



If you're bicurious, say you are curiousm don't decide a sexuality and call yourself it.

Confused people on the other hand, I feel for them. I understand completely.

Answer 6

Well yeah, some people are confused. Im not, i know who i am and what i am. And i dont get upset if people are confused... but when someone sais im confused then i get a little bit angry because they don't understand me, and what its like to be me and i am not confused and i have never told anyone i ever was...

Answer 7

The confusion is due to social views and concepts. once the person figure out that they are gay or bi they aren't confused anymore. If a person tell you they aren't confused then they aren't confused. They know who they are, you can't group everyone together who is gay and say that gays are confused.

Answer 8

Because there are confused people amongst all groups. Why single us out?



And the intention of using that label is to say that "No, you're not REALLY gay, you're just.....confused."



And I don't have to admit anything - that statement infers that I'm covering something up, and I'm not. And that is offensive, btw - don't assume we're liars.



It can't be any clearer than that, eh?

Answer 9

I was never confused. I've always known that I was gay. It's always been the people around me who were confused. Some couldn't understand why I was into guys and my dad thought it was just a stage I was going through....



As a matter of fact... you sound pretty confused to me.

Answer 10

I've always considered myself lucky that I was never confused about my sexuality, I didn't go through the "trauma" that some youngsters do.

But yes, there are some people who are confused, and they don't need it exacerbating by someone telling them they don't know how they really feel.

Answer 11

i was never confused about my sexuality. the only thing that ever confused me was bigoted religious influences that contradicted my natural feelings.



when i removed the shackles of religious oppression from my mind and my life, all of the confusion melted away.



haven't been "confused" about much of anything, since.

Answer 12

The only confusion I feel is about your question. I never was confused, fortunately. I say good day.

Answer 13

i'll admit that i'm confused about some things, but i am sure that i like girls and it bothers me when people write off my feelings for girls by saying that i'm confused becaused i am not confused about that. I know how I feel about certain things and i don't like being told that i don't know about myself when i do...

Answer 14

Using all of those "you's" sure does put the LGBT community into an isolated group, don't you think?