A couple of questions for transsexual women (and men)?

Question

I am writing a book right now where one of the characters is a transsexual woman. I have a decent grasp on transsexual and transgender issues, but there are a couple of questions I would like to ask as a way of helping me develop this character a little more.

For my first question, I want to know for trans parents who have biological children of their own, what kind of parental pronouns the children use for them. I know this can vary from parent to parent who is trans, but hearing a what is out there will help me a lot in figuring out what to use for my character. While I'm namely interested in the pronouns used for a MTF parent, hearing how FTM biological parents are referred to would also be helpful.

My second question is namely directed towards post-op transsexual women. I know that after sex reassignment surgery, a transsexual woman no longer produces testosterone in their bodies and in a way is at a hormonal disadvantage to natal women. I was wondering if it's possible for a transsexual woman to opt to have enough testosterone in their hormone therapy to put them at a level comparable with natal women, and if is possible if any transwomen do this.

The reason why I'm asking these is because the character in my book is a parent (one child the traditional way and the other though sperm stored before she transitioned) , does triathlons and other competitive sport competitions, and has a tough time coping with not being as strong as she used to be.

Any thoughtful answers would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Answer 1

I would suppose it makes a difference whether the trans parent had the children prior to transitioning or not. If say, a transwoman lived as a man, got married an had kids, then came out as trans, the children may have difficulty with pronouns, or calling her mom. Though from what I've seen they usually support the parents, call her female pronouns etc.

If a transperson has children post op, I unamously see them taking on the parental role that matches their gender identity, FtMs are the dad, MtFs are the mom. In cases of the trans parent being gay, an in a gay relationship, usually the kids pick the names, mom, and ma. Poppa and Dad, etc. I've never heard of a post op transsexual person living as their true gender, while their kids continue to use the wrong pronouns, but there might be some family, somewhere that would. Couldn't imagine the transparent liking it though.

I'm not aware of transwomen being less strong than cisgender women. She will lose the strength from having male levels of testosterone, but I don't see the testosterone in a ciswoman's system making a significant difference in her strength. There are some women whose immune systems don't respond to testosterone at all, and I know some of them were in the olympics. Girls with androgen insensitivity syndrome. They have absolutely no testosterone in their systems. Transwomen do have larger skeletal systems that are heavier, an make them less agile however. They have the bone structures to support muscle, without the muscle. Perhaps you could use that in your story.

Answer 2

My kids still call me dad and always will. They use dude a lot too but I hear girls call each other dude as well.



You still produce tiny amounts of testosterone in your other pituitary organs... its pretty much the same as post-menopausal women... minor adjustments to hormone balance to keep libido up, bone loss down, and prevent side effects and mood swings... this is all done through an endocrinologist and blood work. Once all the effects of hormones are finished you can quit the T-blocker (spironolactone) and may even need some testosterone. There's patches and cremes and pellets of every type and hybrid to get your balance just right.



When you do all the therapy required you are very aware of what changes you will be experiencing and the irreversible effects... upper-body strength loss being one... to most of us it is a non-issue and actually desired to slim shoulders and arms to a more feminine shape. btw I am a mountaineer, kayaker, hiker, windsurfer, etc my muscles are for endurance more than strength and continue to function very well for my purposes... in some ways it has improved my balance and energy.

Answer 3

I understand everything except the last paragraph. Why would a post transitioned transsexual woman have a tough time coping with not being as strong as she used to be? Wouldn't having a less muscular body be preferred?