I want to ask a Mormon missionary if we can stay in touch. Should I?

Question

Okay, so first things first. I'm not Mormon. Yet, possibly. Here's my story:
So, in September 2012, my dad got a call from missionaries. He invited them over cause he wanted me and my brother to talk to them for at least 5 minutes or so, as teenagers. So, I was fine with that. They came over and told me about the book of mormon and invited me to read, which I did. I got really interested in this and they continued coming over on Thursdays and talking to us. One missionary left, and so another one came. Then that one left and another came. So there was one missionary that had been around since the first time they came over. I was getting used to him the most and it just felt normal. And...I started to develop feelings for him some time in early December and I think maybe end of November. I already looked at some Q&A stuff on here so I know missionaries are not aloud to date. So then I really started to like him and I always really looked forward to when him and the other missionary came over on Thursday and seeing him at church. Even though I knew I couldn't actually "be with him", I was still really happy just seeing him twice a week.
This past Sunday, he told me that he was being transferred. This really made me sad, as you can probably guess. I really wanted to ask him if there was some way we could stay in touch, but I was too scared and I thought that it might be inappropriate or not right. (btw, I'm 15 and I'm pretty sure he's 19 turning 20 this year, so quite a bit of an age gap) But I ended up asking what his first name was and he told me and said that I could add him on Facebook. THAT, I was quite happy about :) But I soon found out that his mission won't end until about May 2014, and so that got me a bit sad again. :/
He's leaving this Wednesday and I really want to ask him if there's a way we can stay in touch even when he's still on his mission. I've checked other Q&A's on here and lots of people said that it's fine to keep in touch with him by email or letter just as long as you're not being too distracting. And then lots of other people said that you shouldn't do that, cause it'll distract them from their mission. I completely understand that and I wouldn't want to distract him from his mission, but isn't really his decision of whether it's distracting him or not? Like if I asked if we could stay in touch and he said that it would be too distracting for him, well, I'd have to put up with that and wait till he's finished his mission so he can go on Facebook. So, I don't know, I really really want to ask him if we could stay in touch by email or letter while he's still on his mission, but i'm not sure if I should cause 1. it's not right? and 2. it would be right in front of the other missionary and my dad....kind of awkward
And also the province he's going to is actually right next to the one we're in now, so...I guess letters could work..
I'm also definitely going to pray about this and try to have as much faith as I can.
So, if anyone could give me advice on this and what to do before Tuesday night that would be great :)
Thank you

Answer 1

You really already answered yourself "it's fine to keep in touch with him by email or letter just as long as you're not being too distracting". If you motivation is to keep in touch with him to let him know how your conversion/church activities are going, it's fine. If your keeping in touch, during his mission, to see if he's interested in a relationship, it not.



This is the reason why missionaries are transferred very often. To prevent this "feeling" from becoming "problems".



I would suggest you simply say "I would like to keep you informed about my conversion. If I choose to be baptized or not. Can I send you a letter or something?"



If he wants he will give you the info, if not then he wont. However, until he leave from his mission you should keep all contact related to your conversion/church experiences." Then what you talk about wont be "distracting". Missionaries are working to spread the faith, to "hook up". When he leave the mission field, then you can bring up your "feelings", if you still have them.



Personally, but never having been a Missionary, I would think they would love to hear about your baptism and how you are doing in church. After all, they don't always get to see the fruits of there labors. I would think it would be nice to know of a success.



I know of some cases where a missionary went home, honorably, had ended up marrying a person they meet on there mission. However, any romantic connection has to wait until he goes home. Also, you also have to understand, he my already have a girl waiting at home for him. After all he wouldn't talk about her with you, would he?

Answer 2

Every mission has their possess rules, but i know I was now not allowed to write letters to any ladies in my mission when I was once a missionary. In many instances these kind of relationships figure out, generally they don't. If you wish to keep in contact with him, then just inform him you have been particularly impressed via the work he had don't right here and notion he was a good individual that you desired to stay in touch with. If he says he can't write back while on his mission, ask him if he could provide out his household's handle so you could contact him after his mission. Just be certain to ask him soon before it is too late.

Answer 3

You could join the church and become his wife, if he so chose. They generally don't date outside their religion.