Do you have to decide whether you are bottom or top?
Icy Gazpacho
2007-09-07 14:20:48 UTC
I am new to this whole concept... and sort of thought I could just dig right in and enjoy myself but someone asked me whether I was bottom or top and suddenly I find that I am a completely confused bi-sexual? Any tips on how to solve this dilemma?
26 answers:
Jack B, sinistral
2007-09-07 14:27:57 UTC
It is all according to mood and the person you are with; at least that's been my experience.
Lon E
2007-09-07 14:43:20 UTC
I think being top or bottom isn't something you "decide" as much as something you discover. Realize, for gay men / anal sex, it has nothing to do with dominance - nothing at all. It deals solely with who is penetrated and who does the penetrating. You can be one or the other, both (versatile), or neither (not into anal sex). Also, it is not something you discover right away sometimes.
Honestly, I won't bother offering any more info on this, because "Goldwing" has done a better job than I ever could. As is often the case, Gold-wing has offered Gold-en advice.
Good luck, don't sweat the small details like this. In time, you will figure out which you like or if you like both or neither.
?
2007-09-07 20:22:48 UTC
Being a top or bottom depends on the situation & what you & what your partner are into. As for myself, I'm a top when I'm with a female, but also like to be a bottom for a dominate female. I'm a bottom when I'm dressed as a girl with a man or couple and take turns with other crossdressers when we play dress-up. And if you're not sure if you're a bottom or top, try both and see which one you enjoy more.
2007-09-07 14:37:50 UTC
Just say that it depends on the situation.
I'm guessing that you're leaning towards being a top, but with the right guy, you'd bottom out!
So when someone asks, just say I'd do both, I'm a switch hitter!
LMAO!
mpst63
2007-09-07 19:29:43 UTC
Try all kinds of different positions. Eventually you will find out what feels best for you. Personally, I like doing both top and bottom - I even like sideways! Just have fun!!
2007-09-07 14:27:05 UTC
There is absolutely no reason to jump in that far immediately! Being a good bottom is an art form, not just something you decide to do one day. A top can stick it in anything...a bottom better know damned good and well what he is doing, and he better start with a damned good top...hopefully one he is in love with! This gets very, very personal and it is far better to get that intimate with someone you are in love with, especially for the first times! If you choose to ignore this advice, then make sure...MAKE SURE...you have fully informed top who knows what he is doing, how to get you very, very hot and want him....if you have any fears, this will be very unpleasant for you at first...if you have full faith in what is happening, you will relax immediately and want it to happen...and that is great! Good luck and peace, Goldwing
And by the way..top or bottom has NOTHING to do with dominance....it has to do with perference only. Power bottoms are dominant, power tops are dominant. Keep the dominance bit out of it for awhile...you don't need to contend with that issue at this time.
2007-09-07 14:28:42 UTC
It helps if you know what you are.. top or bottom.
Do you like to be in charge? Youre a top.
Do you like to have someone else take control? Youre a bottom.
Most of the time, at least in my circle, tops prefer bottoms and vice versa.
.
2007-09-07 14:28:55 UTC
When you find a person that you want to take that special step with jsut experiment both ways. You might find you like one more than the other or that you are versitle and can enjoy both.
suzanne g
2007-09-07 14:24:42 UTC
Of course not! You don't ever have to decide that. You may not fit either category 100%. You could be both. The variations to human sexuality are infinite beyond measure.
One Wing Eagle Woman
2007-09-08 14:55:57 UTC
I am heterosexual, but before my husband passed away, we had finally started cutting a deck of cards, or playing some silly game to see who had their first choice.
Done wit dis
2007-09-08 05:04:30 UTC
You no have to the top or bottom. You look www.g0ys.org and you see what is I say.
2007-09-07 19:28:27 UTC
No you don't have to decide to be one or the other... you can be both just depends on how you like it.. giving or getting it, if you like both than your versatile.
2007-09-07 14:24:37 UTC
Man when I was younger My lil brother and I were always fighting about who got the Top and Bottom bunkbead....J/K
2007-09-07 16:06:23 UTC
The missionary position is man on top.
Jnr528
2007-09-07 14:52:42 UTC
you'll figure it out with time and experience. just have fun and be safe. for me personally, i'm both on a good night.
The Meh Factor
2007-09-07 14:28:48 UTC
Its sex buddy. Not finding out whats gonna kill you. Experiment new positions and when you found the position you liked stick with it. Or you could be greedy and be both.
2007-09-07 14:38:34 UTC
Sometimes i'm on top, sometimes i'm on the botton, it depends on how the wind blow's us, ]
sometimes i'm on the top and bottom!
vynn555
2007-09-07 14:28:24 UTC
You don't actually have to, people who ask are just assuming your experienced enough already to have a preference. "Whatever you want" is also an option.
IndyT- For Da Ben Dan
2007-09-07 14:24:11 UTC
There is something called versatile which means you are both and neither....
Do what you like, you don't have to limit yourself.
McLovin
2007-09-07 14:28:13 UTC
ummm i think its just random and depends on whats going on and how its happening
ya know?
audra h
2007-09-07 14:24:41 UTC
are you more comfortable dominating or being dominated? Standing or bending over? just do what comfortable...
2007-09-07 14:23:30 UTC
Just bend and snap. You'll figure it out.
2007-09-07 14:24:24 UTC
try both and then pick one as your first preference.
98765
2007-09-07 14:25:41 UTC
Yeah, it's easy.
Don't be a weirdo half human
Be as God had planned. Marry the opposite sex - be pure hearted, sacrifice for their betterment. Love unconditionally. Go to Church, Pray on your own for your answers psychicly, and transform your life once and for all
Be happy - finally !
pepper
2007-09-07 14:23:39 UTC
Be a switch - or both. You don't have to be an either/or.
2007-09-07 14:56:15 UTC
all i can say is.. get corn holed.. bend over and grab on to your knees.. let the other dude come in hard!! see if you are a bumhole boy ... you will know from there
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