how can I build up the confidence to show people who I really am (mtf transgender)?

Question

hello, this is reposted as i didnt get an answer that is suitable to me. Btw people, I like men, and never had really liked women, and also im asking how can i build up confidence, not whether i am Transgender or not!!!1

I am a 17 year old mtf transgender...I have had opportunities where I could have went to a party as I wanted to, however each time I get too scared and don't at the last minute. the latest of which was the school ball earlier this month, I was all dressed up, ready to go (at my friends house because my parents don't accept it)... but last second before walking out the door, I just couldn't go through with it. therefore my friend grabbed a hoddie and jeans and I had to withstand 3-4 hours of looking at girls looking all glamorous and I was such a coward... ... so my question is, how can I build up the confidence to actually go to these parties? how did some of you do it for your first time?
For example, this summer I am going to Ibiza with my friends, they're going to be wearing bikinis and enjoying the summer weather, whereas I'm too scared to wear guys shorts in case people notice I shave my legs. I just don't want to have spent all that money on that holiday just to not enjoy it because I cant stop felling jealous at the fact I cant wear girls stuff like the girls will be (nor do I have the figure to do it)
Also, I want to do it in University, whereas if I feel really embarrassed doing it in my room by myself, how am I going to be able to do it around anyone else, let alone loads of (drunk) students. let alone me not having enough money to buy a decent wig, nor decent stuff that would suit me
before some of you ask, are you sure I'm trans, I know I am... I have too many instances where I've just started crying because girls are wearing dresses and I'm not. (about 2 days ago was the latest).... I've had this for a LONG time. The jealously never stops, ever!! every dream I have had I have looked like a woman in that dream... i know if I don't come out, then all I'm going to be doing is become depressed at the fact that girls look more glamorous than I ever will (which will make me look like a creep.. just casually staring at women...)
I'm not even sure why I cant go trough with it, I guess its fear of other people thinking "What the hell does HE look like?!?!?" because there has been no time where I have looked back and thought "I looked feminine then" :L
I am asking because i want to show people who I am, and I want to feel good about myself when I crossdress, and actually say "I look quite good" once in a while. whereas I know I look like just freak in women's clothes and wont be able to pass (no matter how my friends try to comfort me).
I know lots of you may think "stuff the haters" but that's exactly the problem, i cant!! nor do I want to be one of those people who only care for themselves, I love my friends, and I will put them as priority before me happily, although I don't think this is the right attitude

Someone point me in the right direction pleaassee!!

Maddie :)xx

Answer 1

As Kathryn has reported, p.c.. one that is optimal to your age group. Please do no longer p.c.. a 'style' call as you will stand out like a sore thumb. Many Trans human beings feminise their unique call, yet that may no longer continuously the case. Do take a check out the internet and notice what names have been widely used once you have been born. according to danger you ought to communicate including your mum and notice what call she would have given you in case you were born with a girl physique. yet another concern is your loved ones call. you do no longer could save this an identical. you are able to substitute it to what ever you want. interior the united kingdom the only rules are which you will no longer substitute your call as a manner to defraud somebody. Many solicitors won't help you take a call which includes 'woman', in any different case almost something is going.

Answer 2

Using herbal remedies along with making lifestyles changes, finding support, and practicing relaxation techniques can help make your anxiety more manageable. Learn here https://tr.im/EndAnxiety



Everyone experiences some form of mild anxiety in their everyday life. However, people with anxiety disorders frequently experience intense, excessive, and persistent fears and worries in regards to everyday situations. These feelings of anxiety, which can start early in life and can continue into adulthood, interfere with daily activities.

Answer 3

Transition is a super hard things and problem is if you ever want to transition you will have to put yourself in place of prejudice, there is no avoiding it. God every transperson on the planet wishes there were a way to avoid it. I mean it would be great if we could protect our friends and family and transition at the same time, but it is near impossible.



When it comes to transitioning it is something where you have to be a tad selfish and put yourself first and I mean the first time you go out dressed as yourself can be horrible, you may get people yell that your a freak and stuff but it is something you have to put yourself through eventually and you friends may get put through it to for being associated with you which is horrible I know but you just have to do it.



Now don't think I'm trying to make this sound easy or anything cos trust me I know it isn't, I have once in my life gone out dressed as Lily and I was so terrified from the reactions I got I never did it again. I couldn't EVER do it again. That first time didn't build my confidence, it shattered it.



Now I live in the UK and it is required I live full-time for a minimum of 3 months before starting HRT (hormones) and obviously my fear of living full-time means I could never reach this requirement. I got lucky though and I was allowed to started HRT on the 18th February this year, they put how frightened I was into consideration and felt this would be the only way I'd go forward.



Now the thing about hormones is they slowly change your physical appearance so you become more feminine and they cause breast growth and some of the changes like breast growth are irreversible without surgery so recently my breasts have been growing and people have commented or stared when I have been out and it shakes me up a lot but at the same time I know I can stop taking my hormones and my breasts will still be there hence it has given me the confidence to continue, as I can't go back, I can't just take off some clothes.



My point here is you will only gain confidence by putting yourself out there, I mean I said that first time and only time I went out as Lily shattered my confidence, it did and when my breasts started emerging I tried to avoid leaving the house but you can't hide forever and eventually have to stop hiding, your confidence will increase, the more times you go out it will increase and I know you want to put your friends first, I get that, I do to but unfortunately in this situation you are going to have to be selfish cos you will get prejudice no matter what, but the more you expose yourself to that, the stronger you become, the more confident you become and the more you hold you head up high. I promise.



Maybe this would be an idea, get a supportive friend, go somewhere where you are unlikely to bump into anyone you know, like a mall or something on the opposite end of town and go out dressed as Maddie, you are around total strangers, aside from your friend who is there for support, so who cares what they think and then the next day you are back with people who know you and are none the wiser of your little trip out as Maddie. I mean maybe going out dressed in front of strangers would be the best way to go about it at first, you suffer the prejudice so you build up your confidence but at the same time you are away from the social circles where your friends could be dragged into that prejudice with the exception of the one who comes to support you.



Just a suggestion.



Just some advice, if you haven't read it already, perhaps read "Luna" by Julie Anne Peters, it is told from the point of view of the transperson's sister Regan and basically it follows the story of Liam/Luna who is 17/18 during the course of the book and is just at the stage of starting to go out in public dressed as Luna, where they take the same tactic of going to a mall all the way across town and it also follows Luna as she gets more and more ready to transition and be her true self full-time.



It might help you a bit.