Help! Research Project: 'Coming Out: the Factors for Consideration'?

Question

Please can you give me some input from your experiences of being G,L,B,T and coming out or not coming out. Personal experiences would be helpful.
Some key points to bear in mind:
---did you plan your coming out?
---what factors would prevent you coming out?
---accidental/enforced coming out?
---the aftermath of coming out.
---not out yet, what's stopping you?
---how is your relationship affected by coming out? and by not coming out?

Thanks people, much appreciate any answers. Honesty is all I can hope for. Cheers
If you prefer, you can email your answer to: confidential (at) writeme dot com

Answer 1

I've come out to my family and a few friends.



---did you plan your coming out?

No. When I do come out to more people, it isn't going to be set up in any special way. It's just going to happen when it feels right.



---what factors would prevent you coming out?

At first, I was afraid of coming out to my dad because he always seemed a bit homophobic. I haven't come out to people at my school because I'm naturally a private person, so I am a bit nervous.



---accidental/enforced coming out?

Sort of. I came out to my parents because I had been depressed and quit a bunch of my after school activities. My therapist and my mother were about to force me in to a church youth group, thinking they'd be 'more accepting' than most people. Obviously, this wouldn't have been the case. I ended out telling my parents, stopping the therapy, and joining my school's GSA. Couldn't be happier.

When I came out to some of my friends, it was basically because we were at summer camp and half of them came out. I figured it would be fine at that point to tell them.



---the aftermath of coming out.

My father's reaction: "Ok." Worked for me. My mother was basically expecting it for a long time.

Some of my friends were surprised, others were like "Yeah, I thought so"



---not out yet, what's stopping you?

I'm just naturally a reserved person, and there are a few people that may not want to be my friend anymore when they find out. I've gotten to the point, however, that I don't care, which is why I plan on coming out soon.



---how is your relationship affected by coming out? and by not coming out?

I can talk about it with the few people I have told, which is good. Luckily, I haven't gotten any negative reactions yet.

The people I haven't told- it's difficult, because I feel like I'm hiding my true self from them and I don't want to anymore. Lately I've gotten frustrated, as I'm becoming increasingly aware when people call things 'gay' as an insult and things like that.

Answer 2

---did you plan your coming out? No.

---what factors would prevent you coming out? Harm or bad timing.

---accidental/enforced coming out? Accidental.

---the aftermath of coming out? Feels so much better.

---not out yet, what's stopping you? N/a

---how is your relationship affected by coming out? and by not coming out? Some people are more distant by the situation but for the most part every things the same.

Answer 3

I came out to my best friend when I was 16, after he told me he was gay. Two months later I told another friend and then a month after that I told a few more friends and my brother. Seven months after I came out to my friend, I came out to my parents (this past July). I was planning on coming out to them, but not at that time. My counselor thought it would be better to have a good relationship with them first (since we were kind of distant) before I told them. My parents had a suspicion that "something wasn't right" and my brother told me that they were going to talk to me. I decided to tell them first that I was gay. It didn't go over great, but I'm still alive! I didn't get kicked out, but my mom cried for 2 weeks. We are now seeing a family psychologist so my parents can accept me. I think it's going to be a long process, because my parents are still having trouble seeing the positive in me coming out.



(If you have any more questions, feel free to message me!)

Answer 4

i planned it out so it would be like i was always out, just that when they found out it was like only they didnt know. like i put stuff that would imply i was gay on face book and crap like that and people were like ur gay .. and i was like yeah ... figured u knew then laugh.



im a gay guy and a senior in high school lol. i enacted my plan this morning actually.



so i cant give u the aftermath yet lol.





i told my mom i was gay a year ago and she freak out and cried and said i wasnt and to not be that way if i really was. we never talk about it anymore. it was really awkward for a couple days now we never talk about it. i always figured she wouldnt care, cuz im kinda obvious in the "maybe he is, ,maybe he isnt" kind of way. i dont knwo why i thought she wouldnt care tho cuz she hates gay people and is really racist.