I'm in a complicated friendship and I need help?

Question

I have this childhood best friend lets call him X (we are both guys) when I was 14 he came onto me and we've been having sexual relations with no kissing. As we grew older we continued these sexual relations while he was chasing these other girls but I grew to have feelings for him and held on that he was confused for several years.We've helped each other a lot through the years with each others issues and connect greatly on a emotional level.On my 16th birthday he got really frisky with my friend(a girl) who he had just met and I got mad and I finally told him a week later that I began to have feelings for him but he told me that I should just forget them and he should of stopped our sexual relations a long time ago.Nothing went further with him and the girl on my 16th birthday but after wards we still continued our sexual relations.On my 20th birthday he got my friend(a girl) to cheat on her boyfriend because they were making out and I got mad and discontinued our friendship but we got into a argument again and somehow made up and became friends.Throughout my life I tried to end our friendship but he at one point cried or convinced me to not go and I believe i am not emotionally strong enough because we had went through a lott together to this day.To this day he is currently dating that girl from my 20th birthday who her boyfriend broke up with her because he found out she was cheating.But, he(X) is cheating on his girlfriend with me because we still continue our sexual relations.Now when I come over he always wants my undivided attention because he gets mad at me if im on the phone or texting when I am with him.We connect great as friends and a emotional level because he says at one point he likes talking to me and he wants me to come over to his house often.I also tried dating but when I tell him I am he gives me this jealous sarcastic attitude and jokes about who im dating.I am bisexual but not open but I believe in loving people regardless of gender but i believe he is not willing to admit it himself.I don't know what to do I like our friendship and the sex but its wrong because we always connect so much farther its almost like we are practically a couple whilst him and his girlfriend fight often.thought it is emotionally draining for me to hold myself for someone that I love who I believe loves me but buries it.I would like your opinions please because they are most appreciated

Answer 1

Because of his cheating I would recommend that you try and find somebody else to devote your love and time to. A relationship can not be very loving and secure if an individual in the relationship is willing to cheat on their significant other.

Answer 2

Adult relationships are complex and never black and white. It's very possible this guy loves you the way you love him; what's holding him back could be that he's simply NOT ready to give that to you or to anyone else at this point. Some people emotionally progress faster than others.



It's also very possible that he simply does not see you the way you see him; he loves you but only as a friend.



In either case you need to quit letting him use you. He may not even willing be aware of how he's hurting you. For your sanity get out of the situation. I'm not saying you need to dump him out of your life, but deal with your emotions and let him know that from this point on you are strictly friends and nothing else.

Answer 3

I would give him an ultimatum. You know tell him either he gets all or non of you. Tell him he cannot play with your feelings like that, that he cannot force you to love him and then deny that he loves you back, that you want more than just his dick, that you want his love and you want to know that he loves you and will never leave you. If he does not understand that you need to end the relationship entirely. Stop talking to him immediately, ignore him in public and anywhere else. Maybe he will realize the truth and that he needs you. But do NOT let him confess his love over the phone in the form of a phone call or a txt. He should be forced to do it in person.



I know it will hurt for a while and may never stop hurting because you sound like you truly love him and I would too cause he sounds great but it has to be done.



EDIT:

I would like you to know that this made me extremely sad for you and myself due to the fact that you love him and he wont admit he loves you and that I do not have anything even remotely like this.

Answer 4

From my perspective, he's not inlove with you nor does he love you. He uses you for his own personal reasons, and comes to you when he's in need of sex.



Now for his actions towards you as you mentioned, he probably only acts that way cause he's been used to having your attention all the time and he's learned to like it and get used to it, having you date someone and not give him your full attention is something out of the norm for him so he get's irritated.



I don't know, just open up to him and see what he says.

Answer 5

This Mr. X is a master at using you, in my opinion... He loves the action, and the friendship, but isn't really "in love" with you. If you value your sanity, find another guy...somebody who really CAN love you without all the drama that Mr. X brings to your relationship.

Answer 6

there is an old saying" once a cheat always a cheat" I know its going to be hard for you to understand but he will never change. you deserve better. move on.