My son told me he wants to be a girl?

Question

My 17 year old son just told me he wants to be a girl and is transgendered. I kind of had thought that he might be because I am always noticing that my clothes and makeup are "disappearing" and are out of place as well as my daughter's clothes and makeup. I have caught him numerous times dressed as a girl as well. But anyway, he told me that he has the brain of a girl and the body of a boy and that he wants to take female hormones and start dressing as a girl. He also told me that I should start using female pronouns but I don't really feel comfortable with that. He also says that he will want to start dating boys. I just don't know what to say to all of this. What should I do or tell him?

Answer 1

What you should do is bring him to a psychiatrist. I know it's not PC to say, but I view transgendered people the same way I view anorexics. There brain doesn't function correctly. Don't let the fact that being gay and transgendered is in style right now. Do what's right, and get him help.

Answer 2

Firstly, you should take what he says seriously. If he has felt like this since an early age, there is merit in what he is telling you. Please, do not assume he is gay, because that is highly unlikely. He is likely straight, with instincts of a woman attracted to men. The fact that he was born in a male body is purely academic when it comes to the feelings and instincts nature gave him.



It took him a lot of courage to tell you. Right now he needs your support and the support from the whole family. As part of that and to help yourself as well, you might like to educate yourself with the facts about trans gendered people and the reality of what is involved. Your son will need professional counselling, not because he has a mental problem, but because before starting on the road to any level of trans gendering, the medical authoirities will need to be sure it is indeed instinctive and not a mental or physical whim. But he also needs to have some compassion for you and patience as you try and meet his wishes. Support between you is a two way road and he needs to accept that.



For your son, you might struggle to imagine the turmoil he is in, so have some compassion, even if you have your own turmoil to contend with. The journey has wants to take will not be easy for any of you, but for him, it is likely to be an emotional rollercoaster and a physical challenge as his body copes with the changes the process will bring. Full gender re-assignemnt will be another immense challenge, if he wants to go that far. But he has to make the choice because for him, this is likely a real need that has been stewing inside him since he was very young. Good luck to you all. Search Google for everything you need to know, using key words, or talk to a trans gender support group.

Answer 3

As a mother of a son I understand you're worru, no one wants their child to grow up and be transgender. However if that is what he wants he will do it no matter how you feel, the choice you have is whether to accept him or fight him on the subject which will only push you apart. If you love your son and want to be a part if his life then I'm afraid you'll just have to accept that you now have 2 daughters and support him through his coming challenges. Good luck

Answer 4

Contact your local PFLAG office - there are support groups available to help you through this big change with your daughter. They have resources for physicians/counselors, etc to help you & your child adjust. The first year is the hardest but my best advice to you is continue to love and accept your child unconditionally. Be supportive and understanding and she will flourish, succeed and become her best self. I'm not sure if you're on facebook, but there's a group there that really helps. "Parents of Transgender Children"... there are over 900 of us members and you will learn so much and be able to vent/share. I wish you the best. Everything WILL be ok.

Answer 5

If you love your child you will let her be herself. Changing pronouns isn't hard you just have to get used to it. If she changes her name call her by that name even when talking in past tense. Take her to a gender therapist to get on hormones (sit in the first session). Take her shopping and let her pick out her own clothes and makeup.

Answer 6

Tell him you support him 100% and make him feel like he belongs. There is nothing wrong with being transgendered. Take him to a docter who specializes in Transgenders children. But before you make any decisions make sure you sit him down and ask him if thats what he really wants to do. I feel his answer will be yes so take him to the docter and go from there. Give him my best~Sarah xox

Answer 7

He's a gay boy who cannot accept being a gay boy. Tell him he cannot become a woman, he is a man. A woman has periods, gives birth and breast that produce milk.

Tell him to accept he is homosexual

Answer 8

You both should seek some type of counseling with a therapist who deals with transgender issues . It will help you and help your child. It's a transition and they will help you both tremendously.

Answer 9

I think you will find a lot of good info and support at a national organization that has chapters all around the US called PFLAG (Parents, Friends and Family of Lesbians and Gays)

www.pflag.org

Answer 10

Quick, grab the nearest Bible and beat him straight with it! That's what Jesus would do! Pray the gay away!

Answer 11

You need to accept that you do not have a son, you have a daughter. You also need to do a lot of learning about trans people so you can support her as she deals with the necessities of her life. Here, have some information:

http://www.t-vox.org/index.php?title=Trans_101

http://www.t-vox.org/index.php?title=My_friend/relative_is_transsexual

http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/Evelyn/Evelyn.html

http://www.ctys.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/familiesintransition.pdf

http://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/

http://gires.org.uk/

Therapists have been mentioned. Here is a list of therapists who are experienced and open to working with trans people: http://www.drbecky.com/therapists.html

And these ones are for her:

http://www.t-vox.org/index.php?title=I_think_I%27m_transsexual

http://www.trueselves.com/forum.php

http://www.wpath.org/uploaded_files/140/files/IJT%20SOC,%20V7.pdf

Answer 12

Take her to a gender therapist. You should also sit in on the first session.

Answer 13

AS PARENTS WE DONT ALWAYS KNOW WHAT TO SAY

BUT WE STILL LOVE OUR CHILDREN ...SO THAT BEING SAID

SHOULD YOU SUPPORT THIS?...NO...NO MATTER HOW YOU PAINT IT, PUT FLOWERS ON IT...ITS WRONG .

HOW EVER THE CHOICE IS HIS AND AS THE LOVING MOM IM SURE YOU ARE PLEASE SHOW HIM WHAT GOD HAS TO SAY ABOUT IT ..AFTER ALL HE HAS THE ANSWER ...HE CREATED US

Answer 14

Have you tried beating him

Answer 15

Time to do some serious SHOPPING!!!!



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