Need advice. How can I show my love for my Son as he transitions into a transgender?

Question

I've known since my Son was young that he was gay, and I was the one who told him. He refused to "come out" until he was 18, he forced himself to date women until then. Now he is doing drag shows and on hormones and living "transgendered". It is "against" my religion but I love him and want him to know that I support him. He is afraid to be himself around me. What can I do to make him feel more relaxed around me? Serious answers only. He is 24 years old and in a "serious" relationship.

Answer 1

Wow, it sounds like you are on the right track since you desire to support your child. Sadly, you are in a bigger minority than we are!



I am confused, however, by some of your terminology. Is your child a transitioning transsexual woman? Has she been properly diagnosed by a gender trained psychologist yet? If not she may be self medicating the hormones. This is deadly serious. Self medication can be deadly. Please ascertain just what is going on there. Her life may depend upon it.



Now assuming she is a TS and is being monitored by a medical Dr. then the next issue here is your religion not accepting her.

You are quite right. The Catholic church is legendary in not accepting change. It took them until the 1800s to accept the world was not flat! For them to accept the truth about a transsexual person will not happen in my lifetime or generations to come. They simply do not do science and education well. The church will spread lies about her and try to do harm to her in any way they can. Count on it! She will never ever be able to marry in the Catholic church. They will not amend her baptismal records to the corrected gender. They utilize antiquated logic that is mostly iron age mentality. They will do anything the can to destroy her and likely you too for being a good parent and loving your child.

Be advised the Catholic church has a hate agenda!



What can you do to help her and make her more comfortable as her true self with you? As others have said ditch the male pronouns permanently. That is a very painful thing to a transwoman. Educate yourself and read up on the subject including civil rights battles going on. Remember in most states she has no civil rights whatsoever. She is open to so much narrow minded ignorance and it can all hurt her. Read books like "True Selves" By Dr.Mildred Brown.

Join Pflagg if there is one near you. Look into support groups for her and also for yourself. Stay away from Catholic Social Services. They hurt people a lot!

Remain a loving parent!

Sharon

Answer 2

he's 10 they're probable merely his acquaintances. end analyzing too a lot into it, in the event that they're those sort of calls why does your son provide out your extensive type and picture that's ok? Take some duty and instruct the boy some morals instead of coming to Yahoo conversing nonsense, how outdated are you? 15? performing like a infant.

Answer 3

thats about all you can do , is keep assuring him that your there for him, and that you love him no matter what he does, and he will become more comfortable in time. Hes probably just scared because he doesnt know for sure that youd respect and think of him the same way if he does act like ''himself'' around you. I realy hope that you work things out , and have a lovely day, and personally i think its awsome that your trying to support him because many people wouldnt . have a lovely day :)

Answer 4

Say just that. Express your love and support. Use the correct pronouns, name, gender that your child wants to be called. Better yet, ask your child directly how you can show support. A good conversation goes a long way. Be willing to admit that you might mess up sometimes, but put in a good effort to try and get things right.

Answer 5

Go to one of his shows. Grit your teeth, bite the bullet, and go to one of his shows and while your there tell EVERYONE that you are his father and how proud you are of him. I assume that he performs at a gay bar?? Take your wife or a date (you didn't mention being married) that way it won't look like you are checking up on him. Show support for him. Take pictures of him. Take pictures of you and him (in drag) together. Buy him a new dress !!

You could have thought of this...you didn't need my help, but thanks for asking anyway !! (lol)

Answer 6

awww thats very sweet of u :)

i wish i had parents like you



well just talk to him tell him what u told us that u will love him no matter what and that its ok to show who he really is. he should be afraid since u wont let something like this get in between you :)



best of luck!

Answer 7

don't bring up religion and just show your support for his happiness. Have you been to any of his/her shows?

Answer 8

To begin with stop calling her a him.



Just treat HER like you would any other daughter. That’s all any of us really want. To be accepted for who we REALLY are.

Answer 9

LOVE YOUR SON THE SAME WAY YOU LOVE YOURSELF. THIS SITUATION IS REALLY HARD TO HANDLE WITHOUT HURTING OTHER PEOPLE...WE AS HUMANS HAVE TO SHOW LOVE AND RESPECT TO EVERYONE IN THIS LOVELY WORLD. LOVE IS EVERYTHING.

Answer 10

very interesting approach, loving your child and supporting every decision he or she makes are different, I won't tell you how to approach this situation, But just out of curiosity, what is your religion?

Answer 11

if it is against your religion that send him away to a camp so he can learn that what he is doing is wrong.